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It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, fighting the impulse to just lean forward that fraction of an inch, to close the gap between us All I can feel is the heat, the roaring in ers against my back, the way his breath catches and releases, catches and releases I see his throat move as he ss His dark lashes sweep low, his eyes onfor the other to pull us over To succuravity between us and fall
Then soether and s His eyes flick up, his jaw clenches I let out a breath, and his arm loosens a fraction Tiny shifts, imperceptible movements, as each of us steps back from the cliff, bit by bit, to a point where we can collapse, shaking, seeing in our minds’ eyes the leap we nearly took
"Oh, Flynn" I barely recognize rief I can’t na other than what I a the fabric He’s unwilling to let reed, silently, to turn our backs on the path not taken
"And I don’t think you do either," I add
"I have to believe there’s a neay to be e are" His voice is weary, all huone He’s sad, so sad--and I know it’s not all for me, and it only breaks my heart all the low of Avon through the viewport gilding his nose, his artist’s s how to breathe "We don’t even know each other, Flynn Not really Not outside of this" My gesture indicates the shuttle, but he knows I mean all of it "Maybe ouldn’t even like each other if eren’t fighting for our lives every second of every day"
"Maybe soet the chance to find out" He eases back away froh his body is reluctant to part fro to pull away
Someday It’s the sa anyrow old--the way he never will because he’ll die young, the way I’ll die young, and we’ll both be gone before this never-ending war finally ends--and get to see the clouds clear, get to see the sunrise on Avon It’s always the sauish as the warins to fade
"Soirl is on duty On Verona, whose year is nearly the sa throughout the girl’s childhood; and to her, that felt right Resolutions budding with the leaves, war the chill of doubt Here on Patron, the New Year comes at random; the holiday is timed to Earth’s year, but the seasons here are tied to a calendar half again as long
This year it falls at the end of autu the past the way the trees shed the shriveled leaves clinging to their branches, but the leaves are never truly gone They fall to the ground and lay there in a shroud around the tree, to rot
Someday, she thinks, I will spend New Year’s Eve in the sky
A wind picks up, robbing the trees of their last few leaves and ishly around her in a parody of the Novehost, like dead stars that have lost their shine, and as her breath steah
I’M ALMOST TREMBLING WITH THE effort of keepingas I clench my jaw, force my hands down to my sides where they curl into fists I knohat she wants froh, and what I have to do, so I reach for an expression that feels nothing like a real smile In a slow ainst a locker "The things you don’t know about ht my voice sounds I hate this I hate this "I’m actually incredibly messy Terrible with laundry" Sean’s voice is in my head, another wound, with his stories of Oisín and Niamh Their worlds couldn’t combine either, noin her eyes for an instant that’s an acknowledgether, we’ll find a way to push off froaze out to the stars, lettingto co so vast as the stars suspended in space
"We need our nextaway, and we can’t stay here forever So that o back" My heart aches at the words The idea of going ho "We do what Lilac LaRoux said, and we try to find proof of what LaRoux is doing"
I shift around in ns of the dread coursing through o I wouldn’t have been able to find it But I can see now the sharp angle of her brows, the way she blinks a little too often, the way she moistens her lips She’s afraid too
"What you did back there at the spaceport," I begin, hesitant "Forme short "Don’t" Her quick smile softens ould’ve been a sharp reprimand "We’re beyond thank-yous, Ro score anymore"