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"I don’t think you do," he murmured in awed tones

"Yes, I do," she said, her hands clenched at her sides Blast him Did she have to spell it out? "Do I need to say it? Fine He had no interest in me On that point he was quite clear He found h rife with pain

"Meredith, your self-i silence for several ht all these years? That Ed?"

She scowled and crossed her arms "I’m so pleased my shame is a topic of interest to you"

"Shairl, Edmund did not desire you because he could not No hot-blooded e to you unconsuful look was not lost on her At the bewildered shake of her head, he clearly decided bluntness was in order "He could not desire you because he preferred hts raced through herdisbelief "That is preposterous I have never heard such a thing It cannot be--"

"My sweet, naive girl, it is true Trust me"

She splayed a hand to her bosom "Then it was not me Edmund found objectionable?"

He smiled wryly "It would have been the female population as a whole that my brother found undesirable"

"All these years I thought it ertips to her lips and averted her face to shield the springing of hot tears

"Look atforward to bury her face in her hands, too embarrassed and overcome by his revelation to face hirasped her by the shoulders "You’ve suffered enough Needlessly No more You are desirable I only have to look at you to want you" His voice grew husky "Hell, we’ve been arguing because of that very thing I want you, Meredith Badly And I won’t accept a nah pad of his thu his head, his intention becaled out of her chair and stood several feet away "We cannot," she staely bereft at his sides If she hadn’t ht now

"Perhaps I can’t separate inti behind her chair "You don’t want that, and I certainly don’t either"

He paused, clearly thrown off at her confession

"You don’t want love, Meredith Love " He said this so matter of fact, she knew he believed it

"Perhaps But I can’t say I won’t fall prey to it" She took a deep breath, adding, "Or that I won’t come to want it from you"

His face hardened with resolve, and that familiar steel returned to his eyes "I’m hardly the type of man to marry a beautiful woman and not lay a hand on her Especially after I’ve already had a taste Just keep re yourself what a bastard I a nored the part about being beautiful Noas not the ti me out of some misplaced sense of responsibility," she insisted "I don’t think it ethical to share each other’s bed e have no intention of being a true spouse to each other Just because we did it once doesn’t ht"

His hands opened and closed at his sides, and she sensed hie to shake her senseless Her eyes dropped nervously to the worn carpet at her feet, avoiding his reproachful gaze

"Think whatever you like But tonight ill consummate our vows And I doubt very e much of a protest As I recall, you found it quite enjoyable before"

His words galled her Mostly because of their truth If he waged a caainst her, she did not stand a chance Despair washed over her Froht when she stuun its descent But she had to try Pride demanded it The crush of Edmund’s rejection wouldn’t compare to what this man could do to her heart A lifetime tied to a man who could not return her love would be hell Everythat he never realized her heart was irrevocably bound to hi near hi his apathy in the face of her love would slowly destroy her

Mr Elliot, hair wet and , chose that moment to arrive The innkeeper and his wife stood in as witnesses The jolly-faced woman plucked some flowers fro the sticky wet ste her in ht your troth to this woman before God and these witnesses?"

"I do," Nick replied, voice cool, calm

Mr Elliot turned to her and repeated the same question She tried to absorb the moment so she could later recall it for dissection, but it passed in a blur She must have answered satisfactorily, for Mr Elliot pronounced them husband and wife and Nick’s hands were on her shoulders turning her to accept his kiss His lips ht pressure, then she was spun about and hugged by the innkeeper’s wife, the wo as happily as if she had not stood witness to hundreds of weddings in her back parlor

And just like that, it was done

She ed to the very man who had vowed to be rid of her

Chapter 23

They dined at a small linen-covered table in their room She didn’t knohether the innkeeper had assuement, but she could have done without the strained silence

The bed wasn’t nearly as large as hers at Oak Run, but her eyes continually strayed to its hovering presence, a constant reht that awaited consuht space They would have to sleep pressed against each other--or on top of each other A blush heated her face at that i her eyes away from the bed

"You don’t like the food?"