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When we return to the real world, we’ll see how different we are Hoe could never be a couple
I’h for the likes of Andrew D Callahan
"I--I need to take a shower" I suddenly do The idea of scalding hot water washing away all of et out of here
"All right" He clears his throat, and I wonder if he realizes how uncomfortable I am He must "Will you…will you co out of him to say that, I could tell, just by the tone of his voice "Sure," I lie, feeling terrible I a to hi toforthe hottest shower I can stand I scrub atwithin the s down ly, soundless sobs that wrack et away froret what I did for hiht hi him helped him erase even a little bit of what haunts him, I’m happy I could do that It’s the least he deserves
But my reaction to all of this is off the charts ridiculous I’ apart I don’t want to become dependent on Drew, yet it’s too late I am Slowly but surely I am and if I don’t stop it soon, my heart will become so entwined with his, I knoill literally bleed if we’re ever separated
A shuddering breath escapes me as I step out of the shower and hurriedly dry myself off I sneak back into my bedroom and slip on an old pair of sweats and a T-shirt, then dive beneath my cold as ice sheets and pull the covers overfrom the difference in temperature compared to the chilled in the room
I’m totally exhausted and emotionally drained, but I don’t sleep well for the rest of the night, tossing and turning, thinking of Drew all alone in the next room I abandoned him I let him down
I’m no better than my mother
With that realization, I cry
~ Chapter Eleven ~
Day 5 (Thanksgiving), 12:55 pm
The more I push you away, the more I want you to push back – Drew Callahan
Fable
"Mohting the urge to rush outside and inhale a cigarette My nerves are frazzled and s left in my secret pack The one that was full when I arrived here I need to save them
"Nope She told me there was a frozen turkey dinner in the freezer from Marie Callender’s if I wanted that Otherwise, I’usted and I don’t blauess she went out of toith Larry He has a daughter or so to have turkey dinner there"
Unbelievable, that Mo Oith her He’s her son Guilt eats atto think all the money in the world isn’t worth this turish and my brother has been virtually abandoned on a holiday that our
Even though it’s only been the three of us for so long, since randparents died within months of each other when I was eleven,dinner and invites everyone she can think of Sometimes she’ll have her current boyfriend in attendance Other ti out, the lonely stragglers who have no family to spend the day with
My mom may have her faults--and she has a shit ton of thes in the strays for the holidays Doesn’t like to see so, I shake hter Sometimes I think she cares more about the people she drinks with than the people she created
"I wish I was there" I lower my voice since I’ about I wouldn’t doubt it if there are "You shouldn’t have to spend the holiday alone"
"I’ll be all right" His false bravado kills h all the ti for hio to their house in an hour or so Wade said they like to eat around three Supposedly hisawesohtens and I plan on sending a thank you card, gift, whatever I can lad you have soo"
"Same here" He pauses for a moment before he says in a small voice, "I miss you"
I s past the lump in ht, I proo to the o, it’s too damn expensive, even the matinee, but screw it We need to infuse souire household and we’ll both need the escape by the tiet ho"
"I love you, too Happy Thanksgiving, sweetie" I hit end onnot five feet away froh I’ face
"Well Don’t you sound cozy, chirping into your phone how much you miss and love hi down h I don’t know exactly why I shouldn’t be scared of this wo expression and those cold, calculating eyes Shetofor the love of God Getting in soument with his stepmom will only hurt and huirlfriend, fake or not
"Isn’t it rude to spy on other people’s conversations?" I ask, because I can’t helpin, evento another boyfriend, lover, whatever I shouldn’t have to explain myself It’s none of her da inside my house, in my study And when you just so happen to be the little tra my Andrew"