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So gross And scary Drew acts like he hates her and that opens up another can of wor about because they’re too ugly to face It’s none of ain as I sit alone and wonder
But he’s brought ht?
Wrong So because of theument battles within me for the rest of the day Until I’m a total bundle of nerves while I wait anxiously for his return Where could he be? I know golf ga like this And I know he’s with his dad because I’ve kept watch on the dah Adele left about thirty o That freaks me out What if she went somewhere to meet them?
Crap I don’t knohat to do
When the door finally opens around seven-thirty, I’m filled with relief I hear his footsteps echo in the tiled entryway, see hi area I have one of those unbelievably soft faux fur throw blankets draped over me and I probably blend in with the couch He doesn’t noticea word
I chew anxiously onsince I never ate dinner I hear him enter his bedroom and shut the door and I let out a shaky exhale I was holding my breath and didn’t even realize it
Not twoarea and stopping short when he sees ether, tell myself to breathe
"I didn’t see you when I ca in a black hooded sweatshirt and khaki cargo shorts, his dark hair ruffled by the wind that see around here I’d bet a olf wear, though he should be wearing pastel plaid shorts and not cargoes Not that I know anything about golf
"I’ve been sitting here the entire tiers literally itch to do the same I remember how silky soft his hair is, how much he liked it when I touched him there Does he ever really allow anyone to touch hih life all by himself
That realization fills me with sadness While I allow an endless, faceless streauys to touch me I crave it because for a briefis always fleeting and I end up as empty as I was before Sometimes more so
"I didn’t knohere you were all day," I say to fill the silence since he’s not talking
"I’" I wonder if it took a lot for hiize to me I bet he doesn’t have to answer to anyoneI need to act like what he’s done doesn’t bother uest I’m sure you were bored all day" He moves closer to the couch and that’s when the smell hits me
He reeks of beer And his eyes are kind of bloodshot, his cheeks ruddy I bet he’s drunk My guard goes immediately up and I shove myself into the corner of the couch when he settles down besideI work in a bar
But when I s, I’ my tail off In a one-on-one situation, the scent of beer reminds me of my mom and all her shitty boyfriends How they drink constantly Aluys she’s been ere cory drunks scare the hell out of uy with lots of pent up issues If he displays even a glier toward me, I’m out of here
"I was fine," I say "I sat on the beach for a long tiet cold? The weather wasn’t the best out there today"
I shrugged "Figured I should soak it up while I’ht? Doubt I’ll ever be soain"
"I’m sorry I wasn’t here, Fable" His voice is soft, his expression…it breaks my heart He looks so bleak, so disturbed, I wish I could say so to ease his pain
He studies me, his blue eyes dark, his head tilted to the side I wonder what he sees I knohat I see--a confused, lonely man on’t let anyone in
For whatever stupid reason, I want to be the one he lets in Maybe I could help him, maybe I couldn’t, but he needs comfort I can tell
Like souls find each other, you know As corny as it sounds, I’ether for a reason
Drew
As usual, she’s looking atme nervous I’ve stayed away froht leftlike I could spiral coether and quick I haven’t felt that way in long time This is the reason why I don’t co back here after this visit I don’t care how er I can’t pretend that this place, these people don’t affectfks with my head and reminds me of what I used to be I don’t want to be that person anymore I’m not
There’s no other choice I have to stay away
Looking at Fable, seeing the sympathy in her eyes, I know I should stay away froets to know me, I could hurt her I know I’ll hurt her I’ out what my problem is And if she doesn’t, I’ it out Once I confess, I can never take it back Ever It’ll be out there,whatever sort of relationship, friendship, whatever you want to call it, we have
I couldn’t stand the thought, so I left the house early, juolf with hteen rounds with a couple of his friends, we then ended up at the golf course bar I’ drinker but I slaave me My brain settled into a nuet
We joked, we talked, reat football player I aet a lot of ti tothat doesn’t allow for too ether yesterday had been unco today with Dad was good for both of us But I always had that nagging feeling in the back ofit on purpose and the guilt lingered
That’s why I told her I was sorry