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CHAPTER 1

Owen

I wait outside in the hallway, sluy black Chucks The closed door to lass, hazy and distorting, but I knoho’s inside I can hear the low murmur of their voices but I don’t really hear the words

That’s okay I knohat they’re saying about me

My counselor My coach My sister My brother-in-law They’re all inside, talking aboutain how the hell I got here A few years ago, life was good Hell, last su on that field like my feet were fire and I couldn’t ever be stopped Coach approved, a big grin on his face when he’d tell me, You’re just like Drew

Yeah That made me proud as shit I idolize my brother-in-law He makes me feel safe He understands me when Fable never, ever could Not that she doesn’t try the best she can, but she’s a girl She doesn’t get it

Thinking of girls makes my heart feel like it’s made out of lead Solid and thick and iirl since … I don’t know A feeeks? I asp when I dive in all smooth-like and kiss the off and legs and aret all the tail that I could ever want But if I don’t have the grades, I can’t stay on the tea weed, then I’ at one of the bars while I’ team forever Zero tolerance, baby

None of us practice what the teae counselor peeks her head out, her expression griaze distant when she stares at me "You can come in noen"

Without a word I stand and shuffle inside the room, unable to look at anyone for fear I’ll see all that disappointlance at is Drew, and his expression is full of soand beg hirown-ass est secret I can hardly stand to think of her, let alone when Fable is sitting right next to me She would flip Out If she knew the truth

She doesn’t know No one knows Moet her weed and I do She givesover all the spareat The District, where I’m a waiter when I’ or whatever the hell I’ decent money, I’m on a football scholarship, and Drew plays for the NFL, for the love of God, so Fable and Drew have no problems They live in the Bay Area, he plays for the 49ers, and he’s one loaded motherfucker

But I refuse to take a handout fro me pay for school expenses and my house, which I share, thank you very , whenI have a soft spot for her, that I’m easily manipulated by her words

Your sister’s rich, she tells ive me a dime, but I know you will, sweetie You’re my precious baby boy, remember? The one who alatched out for ht? I need you, Owen Please

She says "please," and like a sucker I hand over all the available cash I have to her

"We’ve been discussing your future here at length, Owen," my counselor says Her voice is raspy, like she’s smoked about fifty thousand packs of smokes tooto see the disappoints we’re willing to look past You’re young You’ve made some mistakes There are many on your team who’ve uys are rades are suffering Your sister is afraid you work too much and she called your boss" Holy Shit I can’t believe she did that But hell, the owner is her friend and forh he doesn’t really work there any longer He and his girlfriend, Jen h school They’re in Southern California now, opening one restaurant after another, all over the place

"What did my boss say?" I bite out, furious My job is ives me freedom, a little bit of pocket money that I earned all on my own Not a handout from Drew Not an allowance to keep a roof over my head and my cell phone bill paid

It’sin excess of thirty hours a week" Dolores--that’s my counselor’s name She sounds like a e as long as it’s been around and considering it was founded around the turn of the twentieth century, this bitch is old as dirt "That’s too much, Owen When do you have time to study?"

Never, I want to say, but I keep rades have slipped trelish Comp That’s the class we need you to focus on at the moment," Dolores thereen eyes--which look just like ry fire and herto spit nails "You’ve always done so well in English Once upon a time, you actually liked to write"

Once upon a time, I had all the hours in the world to write Well, not really, but I could carve out enough tiet the words down It was therapeutic I copied Drew at first with it The guy used to always scribble a bunch of nonsense that made my sister look like she wanted to faint, and I wanted to do the same Not faint or make my sister faint, but touch people with my words

So I became a carbon copy of Drew Callahan I played football, I wrote, I studied, I triedthan Drew, though Girls areSo are my friends And beer Oh, and weed

All of that equals not doing the right thing, despitehabit, as they call it And I did But then Mo buddy

That is all sorts of fked up

"I don’t have any ti a job you don’t even need, you little shit" Fable hisses the last word at s as if she’s lashed ather a look that says "chill the hell out"