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Like with Keegan,that neither had said anything or tried to stop rabbed Parker, and walked back out with hihout the day, and twice Keegan had come over But I never answereddramatic? Yeah, I probably was But at the ti they kneas strongly against They’d tried to put me in a situation I was too scared to putto any of the with Parker and cuddling up on the couch to watchto myself that we didn’t need a man in our lives That ere perfect just like this

Coen--­August 20, 2010

MY BODY FLEW up into a sitting position, and I struggled to fix ainst the treh h I could see that I was in my condo, it took ht me peace fro right now I’ at hed and let it fall onto the bed beside ht and thisan i back to iven in and crawled into

It was 9:45 AM now Not even two hours of sleep, and alreadyback the covers, I slowly got out of bed, and pulled off my sweat-­soaked clothes as I walked to the bathrooo, I waited until stea the burn as it hit ainst the wall, I dropped my head and let the hot water pour overhelped take es that played over and over like a fked-­up video Despite what Hudson said, I didn’t need to talk to so on They wouldn’t understand Neither would Hudson

Hudson, Saco, and I were all in the sah we didn’t have your typical deployments, we had missions Ones eren’t allowed to talk about with our fah that shit--­and one that I couldn’t talk about period The only person that could understand that time to an extent was Saco We’d been on a mission and had split up into four tea wrong Saco and his team had found me; and he’d seen the destruction

Out of respect for rabbed me I respected the hell out of hi about et help But they hadn’t been there Hadn’t gone through it

I waited untilbut the heat fro out of the shower Pacing aroundback to places I couldn’t have it go So I pulled onshoes, and walked out the door I didn’t care that I’d just been in the shower It hadn’t been to get clean; it had been to forget And it hadn’t been enough

Taking off for the trail just off hts from my mind except for the pave I’d been running when I caround in the corner closest to ht in front of round She was facing it, watching as she talked on her phone, her hand shielding her eyes fro of for five days since she’d stor I was probably the last person she wanted to see, and not having the bestin another direction so I wouldn’t be tempted to talk to her But she looked quickly over toa perfect O as recognition settled over her face

There was no way I wasn’t stopping now

Slowing down as I approached her, I noticed her eyes kept darting between round, and I wondered which one was her son

"Reagan," I said, and tried to catch my breath

She didn’t respond, but I could hear a woan floundered for a second, and I almost told her my name, but I didn’t want to let on that I could hear her friend "Uan’s friend frootten the rest of the word out when the other voice said excitedly, "The hot Asian?"

I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing and had to turn away from her for a second when I saw her cheeks stain red

"I, uh, I have to go" She quickly tapped on her phone and shoved it in her back pocket before running her hands over her cheeks

I wanted to tell her they were as red as she feared, but knew she was eh

"Uhhi, Coen"