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CHAPTER ONE

FINN

Hospitals always s smell of antiseptic, I look over at ainst the pillows of the hospital bed Tendrils of her hair spread across the cotton like soft, spidery legs When she noticesshe s so hard to be brave

I’m honestly not sure why she bothers She’s never been able to hide anything from me

She turns her head htly unfocused "Reet ho the bottles"

"Of course, Mom Or I can pick it up for you You know I don’tto make this process easier for her The cheh but due to her weak immune system, she’s back in the hospital because she developed pneuives it a squeeze The skin on her fingers is paper-thin now Fragile It’s hard to touch her when she seeht shatter into a thousand pieces at anyI love

"I know," she answers Her attention returns to the television hanging in the corner of the roo since she was adrams I think it makes her feel better to see people who voluntarily have fucked up lives

My cell phone pings in my pocket and I reach in with one hand to silence it There’s no need to look at the display I’o but I’ll be back tomorrow"

She smiles when I kiss her cheek "You don’t need to coh she says this every tiive her the saet soain So at someone else The tinny sound follows e into the cool air of the hospital corridor

"Finn?"

I look up to see irlfriend, Emma Emma’s friend, Sasha, who I’ve ht behind the As usual, he can’t resist trying to crush ain If I’d known you guys were co I would have planned to stick around"

Tank ht a oing to help her do her hair and file her nails All that girly stuff that you and I are no good for"

Tank hasn’t been with Erained in his life that it’s hard to iine him without her now She’s also become important to me, not just because of how much she means to my brother but because of how hter she’s never had

"Thank you Both of you," I make sure to include Sasha I’ on a weeknight but I know that Sasha sings in a nightclub for a living She’ll probably have to go to work after this and would rather be relaxing instead of spending tilance at the sa doe eyes, she’s hard not to notice Seeing her reminds me that I had planned to recommend her to a friend of mine ns a hotel They have live entertainet out of the way I’ht," Tank adds "There’s so I want to ask you"

I nod but don’t meet his eyes Tank has been afterhih on either of our priority lists but he’s noticed Mo the theain so it’s easier to avoid him But he can be relentless when he’s worried

As I pass the nurses station, Sandy givesIt helps to knohat I’h I know mom tells me not to come every day, I would never leave her alone She has always put Tank and I first She’s sacrificed and worked herself into the ground to shelter and protect us It was only recently that I’ve come to understand how much she’s done

I walk out of the hospital and the humid summer air cloaks me like a wet blanket Before my feet can even touch the asphalt, a black Bentley pulls up Jonah West, ets out to open the door foraround, assessing the environence A threat can materialize at any time and in any situation

In the back of the car I stretch out, ignoring the dull ache in ive in to the detestable weakness and prop e of rit e to take it out, shake out just a few pills I can’t afford to be fuzzy right now