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"How could you"Because I did not reject you in the tunnel? I interpreted your gesture very differently than you intended it, I can see that now"

"No, it is a "

"You believed I could betray my rank, my sister, my duty for someone like you? As a sister, it would be without scorn or shame Asdidoms we have only talked about You could learn more than what you kno As my sister, you could do that But not more Never more than that"

His words were like poison The look on his face devastated her She had to make him understand "You are ether, in the Bearden Muir…that night at Winterrowd I cannot tell it to anyone, nor have I What our…friendship has meant to me In my heart…you became…even more dear to me More than a brother"

He looked away, his teeth clenched tightly "I cannot stay here"

"Please do not leave like this"

His scorching eyes transfixed hers "I was afraid this would happen If we spent too ether, it would make one of us vulnerable I should have heeded that inner voice I never meant to injure you, Lia Your friendship has been valuable to ive you what you wish for I will not betray my Family in that way It would be recklessly is, for you to become part of my family now It cannot be, Lia"

"I knohat I a a wretched It was never my choice But if I…but if I was Ellowyn Deave her sucked the breath fros

"But you are not," he said and storh the orchard roith its interlocking branches, through the hipping rain, through the s throbbed with pain and her chest heaved with exhaustion Colvin’s words burned in her ears and filled her with such self-hate she thought she would die of it The treeline vanished abruptly, and the ground beneath her feet gave way down a s to outrace the wind and her sickened feelings What had she done! Why had she ruined everything with Colvin? The ground was slick and muddy and there was no one to catch her fall, so she tu to the base of the slope There, in a crumpled heap at the botto that she had lost hiin with The deception was exposed, her deepest secret was bared as a shell…a husk That so a wretched, would love her for who she was and accept her His hand had always been extended in friendship, but never more than that And she had ruined it How could she face hi pain in her heart choking the thought of any words? Never in her life had she felt so desolate, not even in the midst of the Bearden Muir when she feared she would never see Muirwood again

The storht to her misery Yes, this was the kind of day to be spurned by aSitting up, clutching herself, she let out a cry of sorrow and pain for the injustice of her birth The sha so ed hiry that she had let herself believe he would care for her in the way she did for hi the core of an onion Since she had saved his life, the secret had begun inside her, sprouting like a tiny seed Only now did she focus on the hts He had promised to teach her to read, but what hurt more was the broken promise of Whitsunday Howhis hand as the ered on thehis hand in the tunnels beneath the Abbey – alone, secluded, heeding the forbidden urge to comfort him, warm him, be near him He had not rejected her then, as she had feared It eh one In its place, a look of conte she had becoear, and burrowed beneath her fingernails Her chest quivered and wheezed froo back to the Abbey? How could she ever look at hi a thousand shades of crimson?