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"Maybe I’ll try it later," I said "I’ll pay you, if you like"

He shook his head "No, that’s cool You should try it" He handed me two capsules, which I slipped into my jeans pocket "I’m sure you can find a dealer down in Florida," he said "Everybody I know is on V"

"Put the for the drinks

He slid the canister back into his shirt pocket

Mãe carried a tray to the table: two glasses of Picardo and one of cola Michael looked disappointed "What are you drinking?" he asked

"It’s called Picardo Want a taste?"

Mãe gave ht

The red glass glowed in the candlelight Michael lifted it to his lips, took a sip, and began to cough

Sorry, ht You are so not one of us

My ht up the subject of Kathleen so delicately that Michael wasn’t upset Then again, maybe the V kept his emotions in check

"It’s been hardest on Mom," he said "She’s on antidepressants, and they ets out of the house now For months she stayed in bed"

"And they never found out who did it?" Mãe’s voice was soothing

"No, although for a while there they thought Ari or her father lanced at ent even showed up in Florida," I said

"People still say it’s funny that you left town after the murder" Hislike that" I said "Neither could he"

"I know," he said "Hey, I was sorry to hear that he died"

Mãe briskly changed the subject She asked Michael about his plans for college, and he explained at souest possible terht, with promises to stay in touch that we all kneould not be kept, Mãe and I stayed at the table, talking about the things we couldn’t say before

"Doesn’t he deserve to know the truth?" I asked

"What’s the truth?" Mãe finished her drink and waved her fingers at the elass

The bartender had never taken his eyes off her, and he refilled the glass at once He wanted to linger, but she cut hilance, and he retreated I realized that she’d put up with his flirting before to give Michael and me a chance to talk in private

"All we knohat Malcol He’s good at that"

But I’d heard him confess, and I remembered the details--he’d talked about the way he killed her He’d done it because she was a nuisance, he said

"Even if Malcolood would it do to tell Michael?" Mãe’s eyes were dark "We don’t knohere Malcolm is We have no proof Trust "

I trusted her But I felt the weight of knowing, like a kind of sickness inside

Chapter Six

We left Saratoga Springs the nextbehind us in the truck

On the drive out of town, I raved on a large stone, next to a smaller one headed with the names of her parents All of their birth dates were on the stones, followed by dashes and spaces to fill in the years of their deaths Kathleen was the only one with two dates I left one of the CDs she’d given me near her stone I’s" Mãe turned the truck onto the ralanced atback here would do you good You know, give you soized for interrupting her

"Catharsis, then" She pressed down on the gas pedal, but the truck kept its own pace, barely above the speed limit "I hate automatic transmissions," she said

"Catharsis reen hills "I don’t feel particularly pure"

"It’s not your fault that Kathleen died" Mãe edged the truck into the right lane "And it’s not your fault that Mysty disappeared"