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I shouldso hasty, and she would have felt every scruple of th and refineement she had entered into with that woed to leave off abruptly, to recollect and co over the country, and ah to ht to be--It is, in fact, aretrospect for me
I behaved shamefully And here I can ad unpleasant to Miss F, were highly blah--My plea of concealing the truth she did not think sufficient--She was displeased; I thought unreasonably so: I thought her, on a thousand occasions, unnecessarily scrupulous and cautious: I thought her even cold But she was always right If I had followed her judgment, and subdued my spirits to the level of what she deereatest unhappiness I have ever known--We quarrelled-- Do you re spent at Donwell?--There every little dissatisfaction that had occurred before ca home by herself, and wanted to ith her, but she would not suffer it She absolutely refused to allow htin it but a very natural and consistent degree of discretion While I, to blind the world to our engage one hour with objectionable particularity to another woht havetogether between Donwell and Highbury, the truth h, however, to resent--I doubted her affection I doubted it more the next day on Box Hill; when, provoked by such conduct on lect of her, and such apparent devotion to Miss W, as it would have been impossible for any woman of sense to endure, she spoke her resentible to me-- In short, my dear madam, it was a quarrel blameless on her side, abo to Rich, ry with her as possible Even then, I was not such a fool as not to mean to be reconciled in time; but I was the injured person, injured by her coldness, and I went away determined that she should ratulate myself that you were not of the Box Hill party Had you witnessed my behaviour there, I can hardly suppose you would ever have thought well of ain Its effect upon her appears in the immediate resolution it produced: as soon as she found I was really gone from Randalls, she closed with the offer of that officious Mrs Elton; the whole system of whose treatnation and hatred I must not quarrel with a spirit of forbearance which has been so richly extended towards ainst the share of it which that woman has known-- 'Jane,' indeed!--You will observe that I have not yet indulgedher by that name, even to you Think, then, what Iit bandied between the Eltons with all the vulgarity of needless repetition, and all the insolence of iinary superiority Have patience with me, I shall soon have done-- She closed with this offer, resolving to break with me entirely, and wrote the next day to tell ement to be a source of repentance and misery to each: she dissolved it--This letter reachedof my poor aunt's death I answered it within an hour; but from the confusion ofonsent with all the -desk; and I, trusting that I had written enough, though but a few lines, to satisfy her, remained without any uneasiness--I was rather disappointed that I did not hear froain speedily; but I made excuses for her, and was too busy, and--may I add?-- too cheerful in my views to be captious--We removed to Windsor; and two days afterwards I received a parcel from her, my own letters all returned!--and a few lines at the sa her extre had the s, that as silence on such a point could not be misconstrued, and as it must be equally desirable to both to have every subordinate arrangement concluded as soon as possible, she now sent me, by a safe conveyance, all my letters, and requested, that if I could not directly cohbury within a week, I would forward them after that period to her at--: in short, the full direction to Mr Se's, near Bristol, stared me in the face I knew the name, the place, I knew all about it, and instantly sahat she had been doing It was perfectly accordant with that resolution of character which I knew her to possess; and the secrecy she had n in her former letter, was equally descriptive of its anxious delicacy For the world would not she have seeine how, till I had actually detected my own blunder, I raved at the blunders of the post-- What was to be done?--One thing only--I must speak to my uncle Without his sanction I could not hope to be listened to again-- I spoke; circumstances were in my favour; the late event had softened away his pride, and he was, earlier than I could have anticipated, wholly reconciled and coh, that he wished I e state as he had done--I felt that it would be of a different sort--Are you disposed to pitythe cause to him, for my suspense while all was at stake?--No; do not pity hbury, and sa ill I had made her Do not pity hbury at the tie of their late breakfast hour, I was certain of a good chance of finding her alone--I was not disappointed; and at last I was not disappointed either in the object of reat deal of very reasonable, very just displeasure I had to persuade away But it is done; we are reconciled, dearer, much dearer, than ever, and no ain Now, my dear madam, I will release you; but I could not conclude before A thousand and a thousand thanks for all the kindness you have ever shewn me, and ten thousand for the attentions your heart will dictate towards her--If you think me in a way to be happier than I deserve, I aood fortune I hope she is right--In one respect,able to subscribe ed and affectionate Son, F C WESTON CHURCHILL