Page 39 (1/2)

After that Nekhludoff did not see Katusha for ain he had just been proiment On the way he

ca now a very

different young man from the one who had spent the summer with

them three years before He then had been an honest, unselfish

lad, ready to sacrifice hiood cause; noas

depraved and selfish, and thought only of his own enjoyment Then

God's world seemed a mystery which he tried enthusiastically and

joyfully to solve; now everything in life seemed clear and

si

Then he had felt the importance of, and had need of intercourse

with, nature, and with those who had lived and thought and felt

before him--philosophers and poets What he now considered

necessary and important were human institutions and intercourse

with his co by the very mystery that enveloped them; now

the purpose of women, all women except those of his own family

and the wives of his friends, was a very definite one: women were

the best means towards an already experienced enjoyment Then

money was not needed, and he did not require even one-third of

what his mother allowed him; but now this allowance of 1,500

roubles a month did not suffice, and he had already had some

unpleasant talks about it with his mother

Then he had looked on his spirit as the I; noas his healthy

strong animal I that he looked upon as hie had come about because he had ceased

to believe hi others This he had

done because it was too difficult to live believing one's self;

believing one's self, one had to decide every question not in

favour of one's own aniratifications, but al

others there was nothing to decide; everything had been decided

already, and decided always in favour of the ani in his own self he was

always exposing hi others he had their approval So, when Nekhludoff had

talked of the serious matters of life, of God, truth, riches, and

poverty, all round hiht it out of place and even rather