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It see to live for; that there was
nothing to do except shiver back out of sight, and wait to die For
the time was not yet when she should know that her consciousness of
sin ht drink the
sacrament of life; when she should co, that unless she had sinned, the holy wine ht never
have touched her lips!
In these almost daily talks with Dr Lavendar, the question of the
future was beaten out: it was a bleak enough prospect; it didn't
matter, she said, where she went, or what became of her, she had
spoiled her life, she said "Yes," Dr Lavendar agreed, "you've
spoiled what you've had of it But your Heavenly Father has the rest,
in His hands, and He'll give it to you clean and sound All you've got
to do, is to keep it so, and forget the spoiled part" That was the
only thing he insisted upon: no dwelling on the past!
"I wish I was one of the people ant to do things," she told him
with a sort of wistful cynicism "But I don't I have no story-book