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I decided the safest course was not to answer I picked up the picture and stared at it, trying to read its secrets My mother What had she been like? Had she been protective? Proud? Absent? Abusive? So et the answers here Not out of Eamon, anyway

"Not that I’m unsympathetic to your current stroll down Memory Lane, love, but there’s a deal on the table," Eamon said "And you kno much I like to close deals"

Some dark, velvet tone of amusement in that made me put the picture down and turn to look at hiht? Oh, tell me I hadn’t slept with my sister’s skanky, possibly hoa nunnery

"You shohere you want the weather changed," I said, "and I’ll make it happen"

He smiled slowly "I know you will Because you’re not stupid enough to double-cross me twice"

I wasn’t too surprised to find that while Ea threats and barely concealed attacks, Sarah had taken the opportunity of self- herself into oblivion Not surprised, but sad I found out what her poison of choice was, because it was in plain sight on the nightstandan orange-brown prescription bottle of OxyContin At least, I thought, it wasn’t meth But Sarah would have found h; it didn’t really s or so a toothless wonder cooked up in a pot on his stove The probleot her out of bed She opened her eyes, and the pupils were hugely dilated She yawned as I tossed clothes at her There were bruises on her ar deep inrelationship, but then, what had I really expected? Consideration? Dependent personality, he said, and although I hated hiuy who’d treat her like crap, because deep down that hat she expected to get Andher own nonexistent self-worth

How could two sisters be so da?" she mumbled I helped her put on a floral shirt with ruffles down the front; it would have looked like crap on ard lines in her face, anyway She needed sleep, and not the kind induced by chemicals And an environment where she could find out just hoerful she could be, if given the chance

"We’re going on a little trip," I said "Sarah, look ateyes focused on me I was eerily reminded of Cherise’s time-delayed attention, but this was different; Sarah had at least chosen this "Of course I knoho you are," Sarah said, and put a hand to my cheek Her skin felt cool and claot Soh But mostly I love you"

I felt that artlessly cruel statee betweenmy eyes I loved her I had no reason to, but I loved her anyway

And now I’d ht noasn’t sure that was such a great idea I hardly could take care of myself But I couldn’t exactly leave her with Eaed a s it to ainst the world, Sarah But I’ to need your help now" I reached for the prescription bottle and checked the label Unless her name was Mabel Thornton, they weren’t her pills I rattled the to have to stop taking these"

She blinked, and then she grabbed for them I easily pulled them out of reach "Those are mine!" she said, and set that sharp chin of hers in a hard, stubborn line "Jo, give them back! I only take them when I need theht now, starting with being in a relationship with the asshole in the other roo in a trailer in Ares, Nevada, with nothing to look forward to but more abuse But it could all be fixed It would all be fixed

"I’ll hang onto them for you," I said, and slipped them into the pocket of my jeans with a mental promise to ditch them in the first trash can I passed "Up and at ’eled drunkenly "I’m not the kid! You’re the kid!"

Not at theSarah dressed was an effort While she figured out the complexities of pants, I ransacked her closet, shoved what passed for her wardrobe into a bag-Louis Vuitton, evidently a souvenir of better days-and added the few personal touches she had around the trailer Especially the photographs I lingered over the one of our mother, and I ached to askbut I didn’t dare So far, I thought I’d danced around the subject ofcould fall apart

It was depressingly easy to remove all traces of Sarah from as supposed to be her ho independence, but it just seemed really creepy as hell A reminder of just how easily a life could be erased frouratively When I ushered Sarah back out into the living roo, Ealass of whiskey "Ah," he said with that slow, all-knowing smile "I see you’re ready"

"Yes," I said, and thu?"

"California," he said "Land of fruits and nuts, they say You ought to be right at hoht, somehow, that Sarah would have looked pleased-after all, pretty much anywhere in California had to be an improvement over the current situation, and she’d talked about living in the same zip code with Mel Gibson But instead she looked mortified Scared, even "No," she said "No, I don’t want to go to California Jo, why can’t we go back to Florida? I liked Florida It was nice, and-"

Eamon interrupted as if she hadn’t even opened her mouth "I suppose you could do this from anywhere, but I’d like to actually be there to see it, if you don’t mind Not that I don’t trust you, butwell, I don’t trust you"

"Ditto," I said gri, jerk Give o to California!" Sarah repeated, half a wail

"Okay," I said "Want to stay here? Alone?"

She looked from me to Eamon, back to me Eyes wide and still medically dilated

And she burst into an addict’s helpless tears

"I’ll take that as a no," I said, and got her under the ar"

The instant I banged open the rickety front door of the trailer and stepped down onto the cinder-block steps, Louis Vuitton suitcase in hand, I knew so out there There was a sense of stillness, of the world not quite breathing No birds in the sky, no wind It was the weightless round cru

I froze Maybe the old me would have knohat to do, but the new, not-so-iht be I just waited for the ha for me I held myself completely still, completely silent, until I felt the shadow drift away Maybe this was how the rabbit felt when the shadow of the hawk , and I had no idea hoas supposed to react except that I had a deep, burning desire to get the hell out Co your hair