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As Ursula passed froradually
the cloud of self-responsibility gathered upon her She became
aware of herself, that she was a separate entity in the o so And she was afraid, troubled Why, oh why
responsibility of living an undiscovered life? Out of the
nothingness and the undifferentiatedof
herself! But what? In the obscurity and pathlessness to take a
direction! But whither? How take even one step? And yet, how
stand still? This was torment indeed, to inherit the
responsibility of one's own life
The religion which had been another world for her, a glorious
sort of play-world, where she lived, cli shakily on the sea like the
disciple, breaking the bread into five thousand portions, like
the Lord, giving a great picnic to five thousand people, now
fell away from reality, and becaht assert it to be true an historical
fact, one kneas not true--at least, for this
present--day life of ours There could, within the li of the Five Thousand And
the girl had come to the point where she held that that which
one cannot experience in daily life is not true for oneself
So, the old duality of life, wherein there had been a weekday
world of people and trains and duties and reports, and besides
that a Sunday world of absolute truth and livingblinded by the face of the