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Taking care of the twins didn’t keep Carmen’s mind off Alex this time Maybe it was because he wasn’t a few miles away, happy at work He was hundreds of ht He called late in the evening and said the coas in poor condition and too old for what he wanted He sounded tired and disappointed Toot hos didn’t work out that way, though The cold front turned into a winter stor rain and ended with snow His flight was delayed and the poent off at the house Car in the fireplace and slept in the living rooh that the pipes wouldn’t freeze The worst part was the fact that the cell phone tower in their area was out That ht not be fixed for a while Their land phone was dependent on electricity As soon as she could, she’d buy one that wasn’t

No babies, no Alex No television, no light for reading – the only thing she could do was cook Alex had the foresight to have the builders install a gas range Too bad he didn’t have the foresight to stay hoh She had been looking forward to their first winter stor to happen this tiet the chores done

All the upgrades Alex had installed were for naught She filled a plastic boater for the chickens and hauled buckets of water to the horses and buffalo By the time she finished that, she was exhausted She heated some water and carried a towel back to the bathroom to bathe before bed She still had her jeans on and ashing her upper torso when the front door opened and shut She froze for a second Who would be co? Her heart skipped a beat She could have sworn she locked the door Even so, ould sirabbed a towel and clutched it to her chest Surely he would say so flashlight A deep voice called, "Carh of relief

"Alex?"

He stepped through the doorway and turned the beaht on her His teeth hite in the reflection of the flashlight

"Hey, Heidi"

She ran to hi the towel to her chest He fu it when his ar lad you’re homesafe Were the roads bad?"

He released her "Not as bad as they will be to to look out the

"You’d better get some clothes on before you freeze," he said

She turned back and s me to put ain "Cancel that request"

He jerked on the towel, but she had a tight hold She giggled as he used it to drag her back into his ar her up, he deposited her on the bed

"Aren’t you hungry?" she asked as he began unbuttoning his shirt

He winked "Yeah, but let’s take care of the electricity first"

That night she slept in the war the electricity came on Still, they were blissfully marooned on their little island of snow for another day until the snow et to work The sun cah that she felt it was safe to get out

Katie and Bill had weathered the storm ith their new family Bill was at work by the time Carmen arrived at their house Katie said that Bill was a little lost at first, but eventually got the hang of taking care of the babies Carot so supper for the Katie lastback down and the places that hadho That would be Alex, and he would be worried

When she opened the garage door, his truck was parked inside He was in the living roo the newspaper

"Sorry I’et supper started"

He didn’t respond He was probably upset that she didn’t answer her cell phone, but he had given her strict orders not to use it when she was driving As Moot mad

A few ainst the door ja slowly Was that what he was upset about?

His expression was clearly displeased

"You spend ed "I didn’t think you minded"

He watched her silently for a few moments

"Why, Carmen? Why would you think I wouldn’tstarted in the pit of her sto"

A sardonic slad you were happy" He ht you’d realize you were intruding in their lives But you didn’t" He stopped in front of her, his expression exasperated as he gazed down at her "Apparently you’ll do anything to hold a baby in your ar on ice"

Her face felt stiff, as if all the blood had drained frolecting Alex - and outstaying her welcome with Katie and Bill? How could she have been so blind? She stared up at him, unable to find any words in her defense

The pupils in his eyes were dilated so large that his eyes looked black in a face that had gone strangely pale Feeding on emotion, his tone became harsh

"Do you have any idea how I feltfeel, knowing that you’d rather be with the with me? The minute I leave, you hop in the car and run over there Soet out of your hair"

Carht her breath and took a step back At thedistance between theht to be upset with her, but this e as it was uncharacteristic

His tirade ended as abruptly as it began and he blinked, staring down at her He ran a hand over histo be sick He turned and stalked out of the roo out to do the chores"

For a minute after the patio door slid shut she stood in stunned silence, too shocked by his outburst to think of a response Not that there was much left to say The picture he painted was incredibly clear Slowly the nuht tears to her eyes No si to rectify this situation

The shts She turned, uttering an exclamation that came from nowhere She cla into her face There wasn’t time to dwell over her profanity She raced over to the stove and lifted the lid The potatoes were ruined She turned the fire off and poured a little water into the cast-iron skillet to keep it fro As she replaced the lid, the fire alarrabbed a chair, clih to shut the alarh enough to shut off the alarested they go out for supper, but the roads weren’t the only thing icy tonight Hopefully he would be calh to talk about it when he returned fro tiain

An hour later it was full dark and he still hadn’t returned frory He could heat it up if he wanted it Leaving the food on the table, she decided to take a bath Maybe the warmth of the water would help her relax before they talked

Later, as she was drying off, she heard the shower in their bedroo out there She dressed and went to the kitchen to warm up some food for him A half hour passed, and then an hour before she decided to check on him The bedroom door was shut, so she knocked on it

"Alex?"

There was no light under the door Her heart skipped a beat and then went into overtio back outside? She opened the door

"Alex, are you in here?"

A quick check of the bathroom and bedroom revealed he was not there She put her coat on and headed for the back door A thought struck her, and she turned to the garage His truck was gone Her sto on ice Pulling out her phone, she dialed his nu and went to his voice mail

"Alex, please call me I’m worried about you" She hesitated "We need to talk" Snapping the phone shut, she shut the door to the garage It was pointless to leave hie He would have seen on the ID that she was the one calling If he wanted to talk, he would have answered it

There was little she could do other than put the food up so it wouldn’t spoil and wait for him to come home Several times she had the phone in her hand, ready to call Katie This was between the two of theht noas the hu for him

Another hour passed It was al? Was he drinking? It was a dry county, so he’d have to drive a ways to do that Besides, Alex didn’t drink – or did he? Josh didn’t drink either, until he married Lori Josh wanted a baby but Lori didn’t Was their situation so different?

As the night progressed, her fear beca like this to him, he’d have a cow Once he had said she ran away fro now Well, let hiet hoo stay with Katie

She put her nightgown on and crawled into bed At first she lay on her back, her eyes wide open Finally exhaustion becaed into his paja to her, nor did he touch her For a long ti to hi to talk about it toht before she woke, and he was gone There was no note - nothing He probably went to work But then, he had never acted this way before, so it was hard to tell

After the ani She was cleaning out the refrigerator when the land line rang in the office She picked the receiver up on the fifth ring

"Hello?"

"Carirl this tiirl?" Car up trouble

He snorted "Yeah, that’s what I thought I saw hiirl at lunch yesterday At first I wondered what happened to you, and then she turned around and I saasn’t you He sure likes to pick the She didn’t look over 18if that"

"Maybe it was a client"

Josh snorted again "Not hardly If she had a dime to her name, I’d be surprised Her hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in a month and her coat rinkled and full of holes"

One thought came to mind instantly - and it wasn’t infidelity "Is that the only reason you called, Josh?"

"I figured you ought to know" His tone was flat

"Thanks," she said in a tone dripping with sarcasm "I trust Alex Bye" She replaced the receiver without waiting for his reply

Josh was probably right about one thing The girl probably didn’t have a diht the food she was eating He had always expressed sympathy for the houred they would spend it on whatever got them into that situation in the first place Odds were, after he ht her a new coat

That was Alex That was thelately to spend ti to herself Alex was all she could think about Co soto coain – if he caht Her stomach twisted into a knot and her eyes burned with the threat of tears What if he never carabbed her coat and headed for the garage Alex had once asked if Josh would be the person she turned to when they were having problems Now she knew Josh was the last person she wanted to talk to Mom would have been the first, but since that wasn’t an option, Mums was her second choice If Muarage door Maybe a good ould stied into her work boots

Crunching through the slushy snow, she walked down the drive, up the road and down the Reynolds drive By the time she arrived at the Reynolds ho that had been activated Blowing it on a tissue, she rang the door bell

Mums opened the door, and after one look at Carmen’s face, ushered her into the kitchen

"I told Josh he shouldn’t have called you," she said as she poured two cups of coffee

Car up in her eyes "It isn’t about that"

Mums sat down at the table opposite Car for further explanation before coed into confession "I’ve only had three people on my mind lately – lecting Alex"

Mums lifted her brows "That’s hard to believe"

Car about hi The first day I ith the horrible"

Mu hi"

"Isn’t it?" Car cup of coffee and sighed "YourIt’s normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes by the depth of your love"

"Yes, but when he comes home, I practically attack hi you? I doubt that Alex views it as a problem"

Carmen’s face felt hot "No The problem is that I’ve spent so much tiaze shifting back to the coffee cup "He is sensitive about not being able to give you children I suppose a man puts a certain amount of pride into the fact that he can father a child" She shrugged "I would have thought Alex was bright enough to realize that having the ability to father a child isn’t what defines a man"

"I’m sure he does," Carmen said "But he takes his role as provider more seriously than most men He kno badly I wanted a baby, and it hurts hiaze lifted slowly from the coffee cup and fixed on Carmen "But he can"

Carmen looked away She didn’t co she would ever agree to AI was for aniht noay Or was it? How could Alex knohy she had decided to spend so one with hi her so far, but this was different She hadn’t discussed anything with hily so far Either someone had pushed her into it or she had avoided it How could they cos? Instead of discussing this with Mu around and waiting for hilect he had already been experiencing

Her gaze swung back to Mu to talk to him about this if I have to tie him down to do it"

Mu to watchbutso drastic Just re alone for so to take some adjust Mu"

Mums patted her arm "Any time"

The back door opened silently when she pushed on it, as if she were in a dream Maybe Mums had shaken her awake froht of reality Alex had watched in silence as she struggled with the issue of wanting a baby He had sed pride when he found the pregnancy test strip, and then again when she wanted to work in the nursery at church He had tried to be happy for her when the twins caracefully when she had declined to go with him to Texas And then, all those ti about the babies He needed her companionship, yet he had listened patiently There was a lie to Alex had taught her one thing, it was that life without hionized over that decision before they were nancy had been her deepest concern She had humiliated him – made him feel less of a husband for what he couldn’t provide As Mums had pointed out – he could provide it She was the one who kept saying no to his only possible solution

Making the decision toto give up h with that decision was i else – so much more basic If she hadn’t been so obsessed with the idea of having biological children, she ht have seen it More than likely, Alex did

Since the day theyhad been obvious to her They were frorounds In fact, their differences had been so great that she hadn’t taken his interest seriously at first Before they started having children, they needed to get to know each other She still hadn’t been able to talk to him about her place on top of the mountain If she didn’t want to complicate their relationship with that, how could she think of co a presence When she lifted her head, a horse stood in front of her Her gaze rose to the rider and her pulse bolted as she aze

For aeye contact, she walked over to hi up at his somber features

"I’m sorry, Alex I don’t knohat I can say or do to make up for the way I’ve treated you It was inexcusable My only defense is that I didn’t realize I was hurting you I’d never do that intentionally You aze drifted froain Then thehi for any indication that he actually wanted her in his ar her expectantly Maybe he needed assurance as well

She stepped toward hi her arms That was all it took In an instant they were in each other’s aroodness of hiht I had lost you"

He hugged her close "Not likely I’ht to talk to you that way"