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I really don't feel like shopping I have a closet full of brand new cloths But any tiood to s up

Sammy is more than a cousin to me she is like a little sister combine with a best friend She has been my partner and crime since I can reot in trouble for doing eren't suppose too I walk over tomy cloths into two piles One pile is ner cloths thato back to et that all of this don'tto me it's just material The second pile iscomfortable I don't need a 500 hundred dollar shirt that will fit the sa I' is that there is nothing wrong with cheap cloths "Butterfly?" Nina says scaring the shit out of ?" she walks towards"Nothing Nina just picking out soet my voice back in check She walks over to the second pile "I can take this downstairs and have so cloths because I always do I have way to et to wear Instead of having the in my closet for ever I decided to donate the I have has been giving to me I have never earn any of it and that makes me feel like a brat I can't let her take that pile because I need it for soive her the other one either with the new cloths because she will know so is up Think Jane think "Thanks but I'm not done with that pile yet so I'll take it downstairs when I finish" I concentrate on folding the shirt in front of"Butterfly you're so sweet and kind just like yourquestions about my mom No one is allow to talk about my mother especially with me Every time I askI know that already but I don't kno she died I don't even knohere she is buried I wish I had a tomb to take flowers onto her It seee pretty soon I need to find out what really happen to her and I need to find out where she is buried I should at least be able to visit her tomb when ever I want Thursday coe for Saturday Everything has to coht be the only chance I get "Jane!" my father yells fro for her all day She has been bothering o over so we can pick out our outfit for the party but I haven't had tio over until today I run downstairs and e her face "Well I's me back She has no idea how happy and sad I a for us at the house" she pulls me towards the door "Be safe you too" my father calls after us "Bye dad" I wave to hihbors around us and the only ones we do have live h it's my uncle's house One of the men in black opens the door for us Sa the er we use to pretend that they were here to protect us fro is this? I can't even drive to your house with out Will Smith and Tommy Lee" Sammy says Saoing to be the one to pop her bubble I know she has the right to knohat's going on but I can't be the one to break her heart I see the way she looks at her father the love and respect she has for him That's the same way I used to look atand I won't be held responsible for killing that No girl should look at her father differently "They are just doing their job" I try not to laugh but fail miserly She needs them around to keep her safe and I knohy but she doesn't "I know but they are still annoying," she rolls her eyes at theht shoes!" Sah heels are oner "Hi, tio" I greet my uncle Jay as alk in Uncle Jay is my dad's older brother They look exactly the same they can play it off as twins if they wanted to My uncle Jay is my second favorite person in the world he has always spoiled me when ever et aith al "Good and you? Where is Jr?" I return the hug s people No one person smells the sairl and Jr is traveling you know he can never stay in one place for to long" he walks over to Saives her a kiss Jr is Sammy's older brother he is one year older than me Unlike Sammy he knows the truth about our fa fan of it either Once he found out the truth he packed his shit up and hit the road He only comes back once a year to visit Sam My uncle was disappointed when he found out that Jr didn't want nothing to do with this life style so they don't get along "Sa for you downstairs take what ever you want it'swith excitement you'll would think it's her birthday instead of ives us a last hug and walks out "Cos me downstairs My jaw drops when I see all the cloths and shoes waiting for us They weren't kidding when they said there was a whole mall down here I don't even knohere to start "Co to do" Sam hollers We shopped and talk for hours I can talk to her all day and never get bored "You know you can take anything you want not just that dress and those shoes" she points out e finally pick out our outfits I know that I can take anything I want but there is no point in takingpri weird all day and your eyes are so sad You look at rabs ot hoell she knowsbut I don't want her to carry this burden "Nothing is wrong I a" she says and I start to panic How did she find out? I thought I was being careful "You do?" I ask tightly "Yeap you are sad because you ht?" she leans in "You gotrelief that ht I do feel sad about ets worst As I grew up I realize how irl needs their mom in their life Sammy knows exactly how I feel because her o Aunt Sandy was a hoe Sorry to say it so bluntly but that's the truth She couldn't keep her vagina in her pants One day a younger ave her attention and that's all it took for her to leave my uncle and her kids behind What kind of mom can leave there kids behind just like that? "A priivesso hard to hold in the tears that want to fall down I hold on to her for what seems like for ever Well at least that's what it feels like to o of Sao back to my prison" I walk upstairs "Bye tio thank you for the cloths and see you on Saturday" I give hi ivesto her "Come on Brain where did you leave Pinky?" I tease hiot their sense of hu about the party "Soives odfather to e of my fathers and my safety My father wouldn't trust my life with no one else but hih thelady that you have blosso tiood heart like yours If there is any one that deserve better than all of this is you" Hearing him say that makes me feel sad inside "Thanks Brain" I smile I don't understand how they can all live a double life How they go from sweet and kind to evil and bad? It's like they can switch their humanity on and off when ever they need to I don't kno they do it I have been living in hell ever since I found out At first I was in denial then I tried accepting it I accepted the fact that this isback for him I even understand that he has to turn into a monster that's the way he does business I don't approve of it but I accept it That doesn't mean that this is what I want for my life I don't want any of it not the money or the power All I want is my freedom and that has no price