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O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for those who turn to you Amen

Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch

--LUKE 5:4

EVERY , when I openthe up But I can't do that

I have a wonderful husband who is not only e investment fund Every year--azine's list of the three hundred richest people in Switzerland

I have two children who are (as et up early to make their breakfast and take them on the five- me to work and fill my time After school, a Filipino nanny looks after theet home

I enjoy arded journalist at a respectable newspaper that can be found in almost all the news kiosks in Geneva, where we live

Once a year, I go on holiday with the whole fa paradise with marvelous beaches, where we stay in exotic cities inhabited by very poor people who rateful for the blessings life has bestowed upon us

Ah, but I haven't introduced myself Pleased to ht, 150 pounds, and I wear the best clothes that enerosity) I arouse desire in men and envy in other women

And yet, every , when I openbut few achieve, I know the day will be a disaster Until the beginning of this year, I didn't question anything I siuilty about havingeveryone breakfast (it was spring, I rearden), I asked myself: "Is this it?"

I shouldn't have asked that question It was all the fault of a writer I'd interviewed the previous day who, at one point, said:

"I haven't the slightest interest in being happy I prefer to live life passionately, which is dangerous because you never knohat ht happen next"

At the tiht: "Poor man He's never satisfied He'll die sad and embittered"

The following day, I realized that I never take any risks at all

I knohat lies ahead of me: another day exactly like the previous one And passion? Well, I love et depressed over living with someone purely for the sake of his money, the children, or to keep up appearances

I live in the safest country in the world, I have no probleht up as a strict Protestant and intend to pass that education on to my children I never take a false step because I kno easy it is to ruin everything I do what I have to do efficiently and put as little of er, I experienced the pain of unrequited love, just like any other normal person

Since I h, time has stopped

Until, that is, I came across that horrible writer and his answer towith routine and boredom?

To be honest, nothing at all It's justit's just the secret fear that everything could change fro me completely unawares

Froht, beautifulthe world alone if my husband died? "Yes," I told h to support several generations And if I died, ould look after my children? My beloved husband But he would surely reent Would ood hands?

The first thing I did was try to answer all my questions And the more questions I answered, t

he et old? We don't make love as often as we used to--does he already have someone else? Does he think I've found someone else because I haven't shown much interest in sex for the last three years?

We never have jealous spats, and I used to think that was great, but after that spring an to suspect that perhaps our lack of jealousy meant a complete lack of love on both sides

I did my best not to think about the matter anymore

For a whole week, whenever I left work, I would go and buy so in one of the expensive shops on Rue du Rhone There was nothing I really wanted, but at least I felt that I was--how should I say this?--changing so I didn't even know I needed, like soh it has to be said, novelties in the world of domestic appliances are few and far between I avoided toy shops, because I didn't want to spoil o into any row suspicious of enerosity