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Chase slowly lifted his head and looked at her with red-ri for hi me up to see you like this I need to help you Tell me how Please”

“You can’t”

“Can’t what?”

“Help o the fk away”

She slowly rolled to her feet He probably thought he’d scared her off No way, buddy, I’ for hiht if she had to

Finally, he said, “Fuck, all right, give ers

He could screa him out of his sorrow-filled drunken stupor

An eternity later, when he figured out she wasn’t going anywhere, he started to talk

“Watching Ryan these last feeeks, before he…” Chase squeezed the plastic cup so hard water shot out the top “It drove houlped the water, swished it around in his mouth and leaned forward to spit it in the toilet “I cheated to get where I am today by bein’ Bill Chase”

“Whatever naet you to the top Your drive to be the best did”

He couldn’t argue with that But she’d be surprised if he didn’t try

“The guilt is eating at me”

“Guilt that you’re alive and Ryan’s not?”

“No Guilt I didn’t push him harder to wear a heled up, but alive How can I live with that?”

Pointing out the obvious—there were no guarantees anything would’ve saved Ryan—would ht now

“And here I ahteen-year-old kid I barely knew died But I sure as fk didn’t act this way after ainst the concrete wall “Christ I greith Luke His death ripped our family to pieces But I could only spare two days out of o to his funeral? And once I was back on tour, I didn’t think of hi Did I reach out to them? No Did I make an extra effort to keep in better contact with my own brothers because I understood how lucky I was I still had them? No

“In fact, I called them less than before Same with my folks Even nohen Jackie lost her only child and she’s devastated, I’ about myself How I feel How it’s affected ainst the tears trickling down his miserable face “Don’t answer that I’m a cold, self-centered son of a bitch A shitty son, a shitty brother and a shitty friend”

Ava silently cried along with hi for this man who only saw the worst in himself

“None of this matters,” he said, his tone defeated

“What?”

“The PBR, the PRCA, bull ridin’ It’s all bullshit”

“Chase You don’t mean that”

“I don’t knohat I mean In all my years, I’ve never seen anyone killed on the back of a bull Seen them hurt? Yes Seen them seriously hurt and even paralyzed? Yes But soht in front of me and hundreds of other people? That’s a first That’s so wrong So fking wrong Ryan’s death, and the tragedy of it, willIt won’t give his mother comfort Christ He was her only kid and now she’s alone”

Chase broke down His massive shoulders shook as he cried

When the worst of it passed, and he’d taken the quiet comfort she’d offered, she stood “Come on You’re exhausted and need to sleep” She held out her hands to help him up