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At around eleven thirty, I pass off the information to nurse Deborah—how much Dad ate, what meds he’s had, how much he walked today, and any other relevant infor out It’s not even that physically de, and my feet feel like they’re blocked in concrete

I’ve become acutely aware that we don’t have decades left with Dad; I can’t believe I almost let that time just slide away from me

After a short drive, I step into the rental house and aarlic, sal roo room to find Monopoly already spread out on the table

My s rins spread wide

“Couys for al sick of Pegs and Jokers”

Reid reaches his ar onto his lap before kicking my shoes off “Okay, but let’s at least play with the weapons froet to be the rope”

Ed catches this just as he walks in fro his nightly phone call with his new—and adorable—girlfriend, Shaylene “You’re sure you don’t have a oes still beneath ”

Chris pushes back froirlfriend is weird, Reid”

“So is yours,” I fire back

Alex stifles a whimper He swears he doesn’t want to settle doith one woer be emotionally eviscerated by the ball of adorable that is Chris and Rayrees, “but awesome”

He kisses the back of my neck, and for the millionth ti here for athe day with Dad, and in the evenings with a revolving door of friends and family ant a place to stay in Seattle His parents caetaeekend, and thankfully ere spared any extrast (Marla, as it turns out, is a lesbian and Reid’s father’s interest in her extended only to the extent that he could saional comparison purposes) Elly’s twins have done a few sleepovers And I even let Avery stay in a spare bedroohts when she came up to visit Elly

I can report that I don’t like her any more than I used to

So I’uys up for the week to do ossiping, or This Little Piggy

I lift Reid’s beer and take a long drink “What’d you guys do today?”

“Chris had to work on his grant,” Reid says, “so after you left eren’t allowed back in the house until three We went for a hike, and then were all so dead, we found a neery and got pretty hammered”

“You do s at his watch “And you’re all still awake and drinking atvacation to be in Seattle with their hopeless, es that we’ve done as a teaoing together to listen to and share the same air as Barack Obaet faet to deeply explore the Seattle beer scene

Chris hasfrom the oven He returns and places a plate of food in front of rilled salmon, roasted brussels sprouts, and wild rice

While he’s here, everyone assumes he’ll cook—because Chris is a better cook than all of us coht I co that I’ht have to reward hiolf club set at the end of this trip “You Are Awesoht it smelled like farts when I walked in” I poke at a brussels sprout “I assuue with this, but seenize the war in my chest, and aratitude, but I’s Expectant silence spreads through the room

“Thanks for dinner,” I tell Chris “As usual, it’s super yument, but the silence reratitude, anyway

“So, I brought it up with Dad today,” I begin, “about feeling like I wanted to be closer to him”

“And?” Reid asks He kno nervous I’ve been about broaching these heavier conversations withto say, i coht of him behind me, the way his arms are banded firmly around my middle “He talked—super openly—about what it was like for him when Mom died It was hard, sort of, because I realized what a burden ere? Not that he ever said that But, I mean, he was just broken, and on top of that, he kneas failing us” I press ht about it like that before But I told him, ‘Look at Elly Look at me We are fine We’re successful, and happy, and not murderers’ ”