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“Maybe you’re just not good at being honest”

It lands like a physical blow I i through my ribs to obliterate the hidden places I rarely examine myself, never mind share with anyone else

“Is there—is there anyone you’re totally honest with?” he adds, and I wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but soer or hurt in his voice anymore, it’s pity

I shake my head, because what else can I say? Reid was that person for me—my first, true best friend—and it’s hard to hear how much I’ve hurt him Disappointed hi with tears, and it really hits s

“I think—” Reid says, scrubbing a hand over his face “I think you should probably go It’s clear we both have sos to work out, and I don’t think we can do it with the other around I get why you did what you did, Millie And , maybe I’d be able to overlook it But—”

I step forward, reaching for him “Reid, the only way I was able to be that open was because I kneas you I can do this I promise”

He takes my hands and cradles them in his “Listen to me, okay? I love you, Millie I do But I think you’re worth more than just the easy parts” He lets my hands fall to my sides “And I need someone who thinks I’m worth it, too”

The tires scrape as I turn into my driveway and shut off the car Most of the houses on the block are dark, so I climb out, careful not to slam the door A weird numbness has taken over My head is full of static; my limbs are stiff and heavy with exhaustion My head hurts But I’m not tired, not really

The chair out back is still where I left it, pulled away fro at the tree in the yard My co what I’d find there wouldn’t matter anyway I knohat I need to do and that calendars and schedules are the last thing I care about right now

My fingers slip into the pocket of my sweater and wrap around , but I know it can’t wait I search for the name and open a ne

Hey I know it’s late so call ements as soon as I hear from you, but I wanted you to know that I’ll be home this summer to help Tell Dad that I love hi each other for me I love you both I miss you

Chapter sixteen

reid

Chris peeks his head in ?”

I push away fro, like they do when I haven’t looked up from my computer monitor or blinked in hours I should have expected him: he co to grab so later and eat inhis hands on the back of a chair, and levels me with a disappointed look “You know it’s been three weeks?”

I give hi about this now look, and reach for my coffee I’them at lunch twice a week—I don’t ask, and Chris has never offered

Until now: “She’s never there, uys In all our glory”

I’m not sure what to do with the reaction I have—sadness—and how he seeuilt trip, but as reassurance that I don’t have to see her But I don’t like the idea that she’s alone, suffering, either