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Alas, I’m never home I’m never here, and—Elly’s voice res, order dinner, pour a giant glass of wine, and power up oing to do it before anything else drags my attention away

How convenient, then, that there’s an eestion for deadlines, and some questions about my outline I text Elly with a very looseof dates for me to coust, her choice—won’t appease her

The red bubble in the IRL tab drags runt of irritation, I open it up, knowing exactly what it is

A letter fronites, and I ha the book I have due in four months

From: Catherine M

Sent: 7:39 pm, March 28

Reid,

I can’t believe you went for The Chrises this early in our eenius and brave I was lucky enough to see Chris Evans at Coo, and you won’t believe this, but he’s actually better looking in person I approve of your bearded Captain A Episodes I-III, aka The Eotiable, though I’m a little freaked out about our coone to die Who hurt you, Reid? If I’ to have that many calories, there’d better at least be alcohol involved

And funniest movielet’s see I’m not sure I can narrow it down to just one A few of my favorites (and in no particular order): Tommy Boy, Anchorman, National Lampoon’s Vacation, Superbad, 9 to 5, Blues BrothersI could do this all day Revenge of the Nerds gets a special ht at a drive-in once, and expected us to sleep in the back seat during the show Ok, Mom I saw my first et too chatty You’re up: favorite o with one froet no infection in your booty hole It’s a booty hole”

Did I just break so up butts in the first enius and brave

Bye, Reid

Cat

I et that it’s me from the butt reference/anal sex joke, there’s no hope for this boy Plus, I made him see that movie with me three tis and I stand fro to the door, wallet in hand and salivary glands standing up and anticipating pizza

It’s not pizza

It’s Reid, on my porch, and he brushes past me before I have a chance to stop him

“Do you have any food?” he says, already halfway to the kitchen “I’”

“Then you should have more than a salad for lunch”

“I like salads!”

Oh, he’s hangry

He steps into the kitchen and holy fucksite up

“Reid!” I call out, and thank God, he turns: he’s standing directly in front of Cat’s profile and her “artsy” black-and-white photo on the screen

“What?”

In racelessly across the room and nearly fall onto my ass at the transition froe past him and sla a puzzled grin “Whatwas that?”

“Porn”