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Reid Campbell

Hey, mine wasn’t terrible

Millie Morris

Yes, Reid, it was T E R R I B L E You essentially had the abstract from your most recent paper in there Women don’t need to know about optic neuritis until, like, date four Ok, here’s Chris’s: I am divorced, 29, six foot three, and a professor of Che, and Cal football

Reid Caot to ot toabout himself

Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio

Wait why is that intro bad? I don’t get it

Reid Ca Shaylene transfect her cells?

Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio

Shit

Alex Ra with your boss

Millie Morris

Chris took the less-is-more approach Alex, you took the all-about-me approach I can assure you that the execution is equally offensive for entirely different reasons Ed, yours had like 700 typos

Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio

I hate to break it to you but so will 90 of the profiles out there Most people are doing all this on their phones

Millie Morris

I am so old

Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio

Maybe you should write them for us

Millie Morris

Uh, PARDON?

Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio

You’re good at this shit and you obviously care more that they’re ritten

Reid Ca the organized, well-spoken woman to your male chaos

[Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio has left the chat]

Reid Ca this, but he has a point

Millie Morris

UGGGGGGH

Reid Campbell

Please Mills? I’ll buy you lunch

Millie Morris

You owe me lunch anyway

Reid Campbell

Two lunches then You can wear your elastic waist pants tomorrow

Millie Morris

No

Alex Ramirez

Please Millie

Millie Morris

No

Alex Raood idea Mills

Millie Morris

No

I sense that victory is near—Millie is just about to break—but I’s My s up the screen In the photo, she’s standing on the wide front porch ofher worn denim shirt and rubber boots up to the knees of her khaki pants Her long gray hair is tied back with ribbon We’ve always had an easy relationship, o, at Christh the fae mood or the impulsive decision that I was an adult and therefore ready to also be a confidant—she told me about nearly all of her marital woes Not only did I have to hear her frustration that my parents barely have sex, and how Dad never tells her she’s pretty anye of panic when she started speculating that Dad was having an affair with the woman down the street, a forty-year-old artist nas found in her yard: twigs, leavesrodents