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"You keep Cat around because she doesn’t notice when you tune her out You can’t stand anyone in your fa his hand in the direction of the den downstairs, where Rhoda and Dad had been watching the news but were now surely tuning in to the arguo to is an idiot You’ve pushed away all of Evangeline because there’s no way anyone could ever understand what you’ve been through" He stopped pacing and looked straight at her "Then there’s me"

Eureka’s chest ached as if he’d punched her in the heart "What about you?"

"You useboard for your anxiety and depression"

"You--you’re my best friend," she stammered "You’re the reason I’m still here--"

"Here?" he said bitterly "The last place on earth you want to be? I’m just the prelude to your future, your real life Your mom raised you to follow your dreams, and that’s all you’ve ever cared about You have no idea how much other people care for you because you’re too wrapped up in yourself Who knows? Maybe you’re not even suicidal Maybe you took those pills for attention"

Eureka’s breath escaped her chest as if she’d been dropped froht you were the only one who didn’t judge usted "You call everyone you know judgmental, but have you ever considered what a total bitch you are to Maya?"

"Of course, let’s not forget about Maya"

"At least she cares about other people"

Eureka’s lip trembled Thunder boomed outside Was she that bad a kisser?

"Well, if you’ve made up your mind," she shouted, "call her! Be with her What are you waiting for? Take my phone and make a date" She threw the phone at him It bounced off the pectoral she couldn’t believe she’d just laid her head against

Brooks eyed the phone as if he were considering the offer "Maybe I will," he said slowly, under his breath "Maybe I don’t need you asabout? A?"

"The truth hurts, huh?" He knocked her shoulder as he brushed past He swung open her door, then glanced back at her bed, at the book and the thunderstone in its chest

"You should go," she said

"Say that to a couple more people," Brooks said, "and you’ll be all alone"

Eureka listened to hirabbing his keys and shoes off the entry bench When the door sla toward his car in the rain She knew the way his hair would splay, the way his car would sine her? Would he even want to see her pressed against the , staring at the stor back her tears?

12

NEPTUNE’S

Eureka picked up the thunderstone and hurled it at the wall, wanting to s that had happened since she and Brooks had stopped kissing The stone left a dent in the plaster she’d painted with blue polka dots during some happier lifetime It landed with a thue, her flea- soft beneath her hands It wasn’t as deep a dent as the one froo, when she’d punched the wall next to the stove, arguing with Dad over whether she could o to Peru with Diana It wasn’t as shocking as the barbell Dad had broken when she was sixteen--screaotten her at Ruthie’s Dry Cleaners But the dent was bad enough to scandalize Rhoda, who seemed to think drywall could not be repaired

"Eureka?" Rhoda shouted from the den "What did you do?"

"Just an exercise Dr Landry taughta face she wished Rhoda could see She was furious If she were a wave, she’d make continents cru the way Brooks had hurt her She grabbed the book he’d been so interested in, gripped its spread pages, and considered ripping it in two

Find your way out of a foxhole, girl Diana’s voice found her again

Foxholes were sed You didn’t know you were in one until you couldn’t breathe and had to break free They equaled claustrophobia, which, to Eureka, had always been an enemy But foxes lived in foxholes; they raised families there Soldiers shot from inside them, shielded from their enemies Maybe Eureka didn’t want to find her way out of this one Maybe she was a soldier fox Maybe this foxhole of her fury here she rip on the book She put it down carefully, as if it were one of the twins’ art projects She walked to the , stuck her head outside, and looked for stars Stars grounded her Their distance offered perspective when she couldn’t see beyond her own pain But the stars weren’t out in Eureka’s sky tonight They were hidden behind a cloak of thick gray clouds

Lightning splintered the darkness Thunder boo the trees outside A car on the street sloshed through a pond-sized puddle Eureka thought of Brooks driving home to New Iberia The roads were dark and slick, and he’d left in such a hurry--

No She was mad at Brooks She shuddered, then shuttered the , leaned her head against the cold pane

What if what he said was true?

She didn’t think she was better than anyone--but did she come off as if she did? With a handful of barbed comments, Brooks had planted the idea in Eureka that the whole planet was against her And tonight there weren’t even stars, whicheven murkier

She picked up her phone, blocked Maya Cayce’s nu press of three buttons, and texted Cat