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‘I miss that kid,’ she says and hiccups

My heart does a little somersault ‘Me too’

‘He has the clearest, sweetest eyes You could dive in and drown in them’

‘Yeah’ I smile to think of them ‘I think of them as pieces of sky boiled down to fit into his irises’

‘And he has this great cartoon chuckle’

‘Cartoon chuckle? He has a great laugh’

‘Oh God, don’t you go all “my son’s poo’s a better color than yours” on hter is both drunken and sad

‘I never wanted children until Sorab,’ she says

That sobers me We are both silent for a while My limbs feel heavy and , Billie? Getting drunk at a tio to sleep’

‘Big stinking pile of ss between ood’

I feel her body stiffen ‘Did you argue?’

‘No That’s just it All the passion is gone from our relationship’

Her body relaxes ‘You’re a silly muffin, Lana,’ she chuckles

‘You don’t understand, Bill,’ I insist

‘When he comes back tomorrow, tell him you went to bed with me and we’ll see how far banker boy’s passion has fallen’

I feel her hand co new boobs push into my back They feel warm and firle closer to her Al into sleep

Hours later I feel Billie’s hand being re Blake smiles atI am’ He carries me to the spare room, tucks ets to sleep with el except me,’ he whispers and spoons my body exactly as Billie had

Twenty-Five

Victoria Jane Montgoht and desperately wish the phoenix would come to me There is no more peace for me since I found out that Blake is e I had so carefully planned When I think of what he has done toboiling oil into Blake’s bitch’s belly button She screams like crazy as her skin peels and her flesh and fat bubbles and cooks like a piece of steak on a grill

God, I hate her so ain to htened I feel that so tosharpened in rip on my sanity Perhaps it is because I a one too

There are voices in er and more relentless They e They want blood Blake’s blood I no longer dare attend group sessions Fortunately, the policy here is that it is not compulsory I dare not talk to anyone What if I lose control and one of the voices takes over?

All of a sudden I hear a voice, a sweet, lost child voice The questing innocence beguiles me, irretrievably draws , sordid, obscene, and often downrightvoices I am forced to listen to I listen out for the unspoiled new voice and realize that all the other voices see back

The lovely new voice thrusts forward eagerly I eht Perhaps this new voice will keep ht path Perhaps the phoenix sent this voice to er

You can’t trust anybody, it says in its uniquely fresh and wonderful voice