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“She told e with a boyfriend She said she didn’t wanton the phone with her boyfriend and saying no to things instead of yes”

Scotland is Margot’s yes, I guess Absently, I scoop up a h and pop it in ot says

I ignore her “Josh would never hold you back fro He’s not like that Remember hohen you decided to run for student-body president, he was your caest fan!”

At this, the corners of Margot’smy arms around her neck She leans her head back and smiles up at me “I’m okay,” she says, but she isn’t, I know she isn’t

“It’s not too late, you know You can go over there right now and tell hiot shakes her head “It’s done, Lara Jean” I release her and she closes her laptop “When will the first batch be ready? I’e “Four more minutes” I sit back down and say, “I don’t care what you say, Margot You guys aren’t done You love hiins, in her patient Margot voice, like I am a child and she is a wise old woman of forty-two

I wave a spoonful of cookie dough under Margot’s nose, and she hesitates and then opens her mouth I feed it to her like a baby “Wait and see, you and Josh will be back together in a day,it, I know it’s not true Margot’s not the kind of girl to break up and get back together on a whi, that’s it There’s no waffling, no regrets It’s like she said: when she’s done, she’s just done

I wish (and this is a thought I’ve had many, ot Because sometimes it feels like I’ll never be done

Later, after I’ve washed the dishes and plated the cookies and set theht on I go to ht is still on

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THE NEXT MORNING, MARGOT IScereal in bowls, and I say the thing I’ve been thinking allto be really upset” When Kitty and I were brushing our teeth just noas teo ahead and spill the beans, but Kitty was still mad at e h I know she ate theot lets out a heavy sigh “So I’m supposed to stay with Josh because of you and Daddy and Kitty?”

“No, I’ you”

“It’s not like he would coone, anyway”

I frown This didn’t occur to one He was co before they were ever a couple, so I don’t see why he should stop “He ht,” I say “He really loves Kitty”

She pushes the start button on the coffee ot’s always been the one to(only six more days), I’d better kno With her back to me she says, “Maybe I won’t even ure it out when he’s not at the airport, Gogo” Gogo is o boots “How many cups of water did you put in there? And how many spoons of coffee beans?”

“I’ll write it all down for you,” Margot assures e Margot’s idea, of course It has all the important numbers and Daddy’s schedule and Kitty’s carpool “Make sure you put in the nuot slices a banana for her cereal: each slice is perfectly thin “And also, Josh wouldn’t have come to the airport with us anyway You kno I feel about sad good-byes” Margot h, eo to college in Scotland, it felt like a betrayal Even though I kneas coe soe in Scotland and study anthropology, because she is Margot, the girl with the maps and the travel books and the plans Of course she would leave us one day

I’m still mad at her, just a little Just a teeny-tiny bit Obviously I know it’s not her fault But she’s going so far away, and ays said we’d be the Song girls forever Margot first, me in the middle, and my sister Kitty last On her birth certificate she is Katherine; to us she is Kitty Occasionally we call her Kitten, because that’s what I called her when she was born: she looked like a scrawny, hairless kitten

We are the three Song girls There used to be four MyEvie tois, was, my mom’s last name Our last name is Covey—Covey like lovey, not like cove But the reason we are the Song girls and not the Covey girls is ot said then we should be too We all have Song for ourthan Covey anyway, ot and I do; Kitty looks ht brown like his People say I look the h cheekbones and dark eyes It’s been almost six years now, and sometimes it feels like just yesterday she was here, and sometimes it feels like she never was, only in drea; they were shiny and everything s in the kitchen, she ca in to answer it, and she slipped She hit her head on the floor, and she was unconscious, but then she woke up and she was fine That was her lucid interval That’s what they call it A little while later she said she had a headache, she went to lie down on the couch, and then she didn’t wake up

Margot was the one who found her She elve She took care of everything: she called 911; she called Daddy; she told me to watch over Kitty, as only three I turned on the TV for Kitty in the playroom and I sat with her That’s all I did I don’t knohat I would have done if Margot hadn’t been there Even though Margot is only two years older than me, I look up to her more than anybody