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“I’ squeeze “I pro I adored about him to my list: He really, really loved his sister His whole faie’s roonore Really it was their son who becanore He looked about four or five and he was being very loud Extre his food as missiles

“Toby, sweetheart, please stop Sit nice and be quiet,” his desperatelyto glower at the boy, eyed Toby as he said, “No Fuck off!”

Hisready to cry

“Toby, is it?” Maggie suddenly leaned away from our table to theirs

The ie to sit back and was defiantly ignored

“Yeah!” Toby replied, crossing his arms over his chest as if to say, “What’s it to you?”

“Have you ever heard of The Bed Brute, Toby?”

Toby shook his head “What’s that?”

“It’s not a that It’s a who” Maggie said “A monster, to be exact”

“A ued

“Yup” She nodded, her expression deadpan “The Bed Brute has a problem with children who are rude to their parents He doesn’t like it, Toby”

Toby’s expression fell

“He especially doesn’t like children who say bad words to their parents And if a child is rude a lot and says bad words a lot, The Bed Brute finds out And do you knohat he does, Toby?”

Toby shook his head, eyes wide

“He waits for theo to sleep and then he comes out froht So if I were you, Toby, I wouldn’t be rude or say bad words to your mummy anyie gave the boy’s mum a wide smile “You’re welcome”

The horrified ht to coather her other two children, and deht-lipped looks as the family scampered out of the restaurant

And then we burst into our own horrified laughter