Page 31 (1/2)

She ducked her head, berating herself internally for le to Paul Gabriel would be livid if he knew she was sharing these kinds of confidences But she needed to talk to soh sympathetic, did not understand the academic world

“I’m sorry, Julia Have you told him?”

“Yes He said he understood But it’s out there, you know? Once you express that kind of desire, it can’t be taken back”

Paul tapped his foot under the table Their conversation had taken a surprising turn, and truthfully, he didn’t knohat to say He quickly thought of soram back in Toronto, but only a few”

“Did they finish?”

“Truthfully? Most of theuys had kids But most of them had wives who either stayed at home or worked part timeHey” He waited until she lifted her face “That’s a setting pregnant and asn’t There’s probably a group at Harvard that can give you advice about balancing a farad school”

“I didn’t want to have those conversations now”

“I can understand that”

Paul shook his head

“Jules, it’s none ofsomeone else’s life If you aren’t ready for a family, say so And stick to your decision, otherwise you’ll end upa baby with my husband wouldout of Harvard would I know you, Julia And I knohat’s i so hard for this Don’t throw it away”

“I don’t want to, but I feel guilty”

Paul cursed obliquely

“I thought you said he was supportive of you”

“He is”

“Then ould you feel guilty?”

“Because I’ ave her a hard look “If he loves you, then he won’t be happy at the cost of your happiness”

Julia adjusted the silverware in front of her, lining up the ends so they were perfectly symmetrical

“Much as I hate to say this, I think you should talk to hirinned “And if he won’t, then kick him to the curb”

She looked over at him in surprise

“Paul, I don’t think that—”

He interrupted her “Seriously, Julia If your husband loves you, then he needs to wake the fk up and cut out the barefoot-and-pregnant bullshit”

Her brow furrowed “He doesn’t want that”

“Then you have no reason to feel guilty You’re young You have your whole life ahead of you You don’t have to choose between grad school and a family You can have both”

“I’m not the only person whose dreams count”

“Perhaps not” Paul lowered his voice, his eyes fixed on hers “I’m not exactly objective when it coood friend Thank you”

“No thanks needed” His voice grew gruff