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His gaze becah he watched so within his own mind

"All that matters is my hands around Ty’Lis’s throat"

On Christ roorown up in--and stared out the frostedat the snow-covered yard Once she had els there, had learned to ride a bicycle in the street, had pushed Terry McHugh down in the drivehen he tried to kiss her

Ho had it been since this place felt like hohost of home, the specter of a bittersweet past The oldest hts in the hile she snuggled deep under her goose down co herthe Red Sox game on the little TV in the kitchen

But the more recent memories were different, just a series of aard pauses and distant looks, of a otten how to talk to one another, and consequently, to their daughter By the time Sara came out to her parents, the fact that she was in love with another girl was barely a blip on the radar of their estranges, but she didn’t think it hadin Atlanta, away from them both, had been wonderful at first Sara had found herwith from a distance But her father was another story entirely How could she have iined that it was possible for this man--this cop, so completely defined by his occupation and stolen away from his family by the job--to becoht, she told herself Keep bla Daddy Distance is the space between two people, but it only takes one to reach out and close it

Sara sighed, breathed in, and her heart was seized by grief and loneliness unlike anything she had ever felt The place sed her when he’d come home from work, or bent over to kiss her forehead as she lay in bed, when the job brought hiars was in every curtain, in the furniture and the carpets He did not sars anymore, except maybe for the occasional holiday, but the aroma remained It was such a n and precious to her

How could you have let this happen? she thought, and couldn’t be sure if the admonition was directed at her father, or herself All the ti her to come home, and at last she had been drawn home for Christmas when it was too late

Out the , she could see the glea across the fra houses The old Standish house still used the multicolored ones in their trees and above the door, but where the Quinns had once lived, the new faht were so cheerless and sad Still, the effect of the various decorative lights all along the street gave a holiday war off the snow

But inside Ted Halliwell’s house, there wasn’t even a tree He hadn’t bothered with lights or decorations of any kind Sara understood He had asked her to come ho? He wouldn’t do it for himself Someone would invite him over for Christo, but there would be no celebration for him

No Stop it Don’t you feel sorry for hied it anytiedy Her father had tried to change Sara could not escape the truth no many times in the past few years had he reached out to her, tried to heal the past and bring theether, and howherself she wasn’t ready to forgive hi there for her?

So h the frosty condensation on theChristmas Eve existed out there in the world of Bosworth Road, but here, inside, it was so far away

"Where are you, Dad?" she whispered to the winter night

Somehow, she had to find out what happened to him She could haunt Jackson Norris, but knew the sheriff wasn’t going to have any answers for her If she wanted to knohat happened, she had to go and talk to the people at Bascombe & Cox, who’d sent her father and Julianna Whitney to London, searching for the oing to be looking for her father or even thinking about him much for the next two days Nobody except her The time between now and December 26 stretched out before her as an endless void She could do nothing but wait for the rest of the world to celebrate and revel in love and holiday spirit, and that helplessness was a terrible weight upon her heart

Sara needed to understand what had happened Her father had always felt so far away from her, even when they lived in the sae way, she felt closer now, as though if she turned at the right lanced into the corner, she would see hih, if she reached out at the right rab hi she had not done since grade school, but now she felt like she could hug hi in the way, if only she could find him

Her father was still alive She refused to believe otherwise But it felt like his ghost haunted the house

Sara turned away from theand strode to the enorainst one wall There was a CD player there and she turned it on Christht be, but there’d be no holiday music for her She pressed Play and blinked in surprise when the nized it i "I’m an Errand Girl for Rhythm" Sara had this CD herself She favored cute little folk-rock boys like Jason Mraz and Jack Johnson and jazz-pop fro so beautiful and sultry about Diana Krall’s voice that Sara fell a little in love with her every ti

To discover that her father listened to Diana as well gave her a chill

She opened the liquor cabinet beneath the bookcase, took out a turam’s 7 and 7-Up Her father had called it the "medicine cabinet" This was his drink Sara would have preferred it on the rocks, but did not feel like going into the kitchen for ice

Taking a deep breath, she sipped the whiskey It burned the back of her throat, but it warlass, silently toasting her father and cursing the irony that it had taken his disappearance to make her feel close to him for the first time in well over ten years

"Merry Christmas," she whispered, and took another sip of whiskey