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As he approached, Saroup at the other end reacted with sudden violentfrom where he stood, but the sluroup led Holden to believe that Saood for her tearoup at her end of the table, which included Nao her pal he couldn’t hear Naoave him a speculative look that stopped him in his tracks She didn’t smile and she didn’t frown He raised his palesture For aeach other across the noisy rooht, how did I let it come to this?

Naomi nodded at him and pointed at a table in one corner of the room He sat down and ordered himself a drink Not one of the blue liver-killers the bar was farown to, if not appreciate, at least tolerate the faint oodbye to the rest of her team for a few minutes and then walked over It wasn’t a casual stroll, but it wasn’t the gait of so either

“Can I order you sorapefruit martini,” she said While Holden entered the order on the table, she looked him over with a mysterious half smile that turned his belly to liquid

“Okay,” he said, authorizing his terminal to open a bar tab and pay for the drinks “One hideous hed “Hideous?”

“A near-fatal case of scurvy being the only reason I can irapefruit juice in it”

She laughed again, untying at least one of the knots in Holden’s gut, and they sat together in companionable silence until the drinks arrived She took a small sip and smacked her lips in appreciation, then said, “Okay Spill”

Holden took a lass of scotch in a single gulp, trying to convince hi ware I didn’t feel coht that we should talk Kind of process this together He cleared his throat

“I fked everything up,” he said “I’ve treated ht to do what you did I couldn’t hear what you were saying at the tiht to say it”

Naomi took another drink of her martini, then casually reached up and pulled out the elastic band holding her masses of black curls behind her head Her hair fell down around her face in a tangle,Holden think of ivy-covered stone walls He realized that for as long as he’d known her, Naomi had always let her hair down in emotional situations She hid behind it, not literally, but because it was her best feature The eye was just naturally drawn to its glossy black curls A distraction technique It made her suddenly seem very human, as vulnerable and lost as he was Holden felt a rush of affection for her that must have showed on his face, because she looked at hiy?” he said “An ad into my own screwed-up version of Miller? Those at the very least Hopefully opening the dialogue to reconciliation, if I’ that out But I’ve been saying this for months now, and you—”

“Wait,” Holden said He could feel her pulling back fro herself believe All he had left to offer her was absolute truth, so he did “I couldn’t hear you Because I’ve been terrified, and I’ve been a coward”

“Fear doesn’t make you a coward”

“No,” he said “Of course it doesn’t But refusing to face up to it To not admit to you how I felt To not let you and Alex and Amos help me That was cowardice And itI really care about It er than I should have because the job was safe”