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Everything’s chaos I’m homeless Our family’s broken My entire future is up in the air And I’h he made it home from Condor Peak just fine, and we text constantly and occasionally talk on the phone when I can get away from everyone, it’s not the same

I miss him in a way I never have

I miss his deep voice and his dark sense of hu of security I have when he’s nearby I ers stroking down my back I miss him so much, I feel physically ill

I don’t want o home and see Lennon Only, I don’t knohere home is anymore I think about how Lennon and I spent the last year avoiding each other, and what a waste that was We didn’t kno good we had it, living so close We were both stupid I wish I could erase the entire year and start all over Stop hi and ruining the business and our credit, because now Grand trouble with the bank before I left on the cas and credit on his affairs Trips Hotel rooe while randparents say they’re going to sue hiave hie will grantis that he won’t; the sad thing is that he won’t I can’t decide how I feel about hiure it out and weary of ive

And on Tuesday es

I’e listlessly in a dog bed that’s too ss unsuccessfully try to coax her into playing Mom appears in the doorway, and I think it’s probably to checkies She has a strange look on her face It’s like happiness, but a little angrier Happy angry Hapry

"Get your stuff," she says "We’re going home"

"To Dad?"

"Your father has moved in with one of his ing the locks, and I’ without hiood to be true "Can you do that?"

"Zorie, I can do anything I da unexpectedly confident and positive "And what I want is to go back to Mission Street and be the East Bay’s best acupuncturist while raisingto do, goddammit"

"Maybe sound a little surer of yourself, while you’re at it," I

And for the first time since all of this chaos exploded, she smiles too Just for a second

"I’m not sure," she admits "Not yet But I have to have faith that I will be one day We will be We’ll make a plan and take action And that’s hoe start"

Her words click into place insidecan’t save you froiven And if you plan so much that you can’t function without one, life’s no fun All the calendars, journals, and lists in the world won’t save you when the sky falls AndI couldn’t control

But that doesn’tcan be useful when you’ve coure out a neay to get back on route