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Tenderness and pain rise to my throat It’s a bittersweet pain, one that’s tarnished by hoful this year has been for both of us I tried so hard and for so long to push all s for him away, to tamp them down into a tiny box and hide it soet
And Lennon did all he could to re I try to wipe it aith er, but the ink bleeds
"I’m sorry," I whisper "They’re beautiful and I ruined thes me closer to swipe tears fro my eyelids "I don’t need the him for one more day in our sequoia cathedral We’ll have plenty of tiht, which is the best time to see the meteor shower anyway Our phones are dead, so I can’t tell Avani to expect us a day late, but what does it matter? She’ll still be there And likely she’ll be so busy enjoying the star party, she won’t even notice The only thing I see as a potential problem is Mom, because I did promise I’d text when I arrived at the star party But I also told her we’d be getting there late tonight, and what difference would one daya scheduled bus Surely, she’ll understand that this isn’t an exact science I can call her froet to Condor Peak toue all of this to Lennon, but frankly, I didn’t need to convince hireeable, and we stay put
The stors Washingfirewood and putting it in the sun to dry Findingin the river together (Less bathing, ht in his backpack (Less reading, , more sex that nearly permanently blinds Lennon when a tent pole snaps)
My hives are still there, but I’ up with , and partly because I caved and let Lennon slather ela’s stinky sativa salve I don’t think I’ve ever been so relaxed--sexlaxation, Lennon dubs it, and says he’ll ies and stress
But all good things must come to an end, and e run out of condoo
Goodbye, sex ca up, I check to , and it strikes le photo on this trip It’s not just that I haven’t obsessively checked es or , and I haven’t posted anything I can’t check views or likes or favorites or reblogs And I have no idea what’s going on in the news
"We disconnected," I tell Lennon
"I know Isn’t it great?"
It actually is Maybe I wouldn’t want to do it forever, but I didn’t die, either
We’ve waited as long as we can, leaving well after lunch My pack feels heavier, sos inside I think it’s as reluctant to leave as I a of meadows all afternoon and have dinner near a lake that’s one of the largest alpine bodies of water in the state We’re well above five thousand feet, so the water’s too cold for swi as sexlaxation, I point out Lennon triple-checks: We’re definitely out of condoain,to do aboutabout the future I don’t want to think about it I want to stay here This is i about what awaits us--parents, school, the so-called friends who abandoned us, the loo threat of my dad’s affairall of this creates doubt insense of dread
The sun sets during the final stretch of the hike up the foothills We’ve connected up to adistances to several nearby attractions Condor Peak is outside King’s Forest in a state-maintained area There are several scenic points on and around the mountain, but the one we’re headed to, the Northern Viewpoint, is right in front of us, point-five kiloround below it, just across a road that borders the national park
An actual road With actual cars whizzing down it
I never thought I’d be reluctant to return to civilization