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"I' to wait for you, you know," Belle cried out "And soe your mind and you'll want me You'll want me so badly you'll ache from it And not just in your bed You'll want me in your hoone"

"I don't doubt it for an instant" John wasn't sure whether he'd spoken the words or ht them, but either way it was clear she hadn't heard him

"Goodbye, John," Belle said, her voice choked with sobs "I know that you're friends with Alex and Emma, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't come round Westonbirt until after I've left" Her vision clouded by tears, she whipped her mare around and took off for Westonbirt at breakneck speed

John watched her depart, then listened to the sound of her horse's galloping hooves after he could no longer see her He stood still for several est all that had taken place After years of sha, the honorable thing, but he felt like the villain in one of Mrs Rad-cliffe's novels

John groaned out loud and then viciously swore as he kicked a rock out of his way It had been like this his entire life Just when he thought he had achieved soled before hi he knew he could never have Bletchford Manor had been a dream to him, a drea his family that he could make it on his own, that he didn't need to inherit a title and an estate to beco to Bletchford Manor he'dat hi out, "See, you'll never really make it, John This is what you'll never have"

He squeezed his eyes shut He had done the right thing, hadn't he?

He knew he'd hurt her The pain in her eyes had been naked and raw He could still see her face in his mind And then Belle was joined by Ana, her eyes silently conde him "Noooo," she ht as well have been you"

John wrenched his eyes open, trying to banish the wo He could never be the pure soul Belle deserved A scene from his drea

He had done the right thing His desire for her was too intense She would have broken under the force of his passion

A dull, hollow ache fors In one fluid motion, he mounted his stallion and took off at a speed even faster than Belle's As he crashed through the forest, the leaves whipped viciously at his face, but John ignored the the pain as penance due

Chapter 9

Belle had no allop home She rode without care to her own safety; all that see as much distance between herself and John Blackwood as possible

But once she arrived home and raced up the stairs she realized that Westonbirt was not far enough How could she bear to remain with her cousins when the man who had broken her heart was only a short ride away?

She stor, and proceeded to grab three valises froan to stuff dresses into the?"

Belle looked up Her lady'sin the doorway, a horrified expression on her face "I'?"

Mary rushed in and tried to grab the valise away "But my lady, you don't kno to pack"

Belle felt hot tears pricking her eyes "How difficult can it be?!" she burst out

"You need trunks for those gowns, s, feeling suddenly deflated "Fine Yes Of course You're right"