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He knows that, too, I think Tildon knows that she’s a challenge and he won’t be satisfied until he’s broken her Pulled out all of her teeth and claws

Finally, Sa around, unsure if she can approach it "You’renot like the others, are you?"

As if on cue, a voice in my ear buzzes, "Still on auxiliary power All PSF units, report in" I listen as twenty voices chirp in alphabetical order "Cabin one secure" "Cabin two secure" Mess Hall, Infirainst the crate I have ht not seelance at her concerned face, re her question "I’ers through the bars again, but catches herself before she can reach h I don’t knohat to say My ure a way out of this, how I can help her, how the two of us can leave and find Mia together It doesn’t stop, the ache in ain--reaching out to brush the dark, wet hair off , I’o near the others, Sam," I whisper "Don’t look at thehuman left inside They’ll hurt you It’s what they were trained to do"

"But not you?"

"I’ht inside," I try to clarify "I’ve felt what they want h the pain, leaving your esting this, theThere’s a faint smile on her face "Turtle"

I squeeze my eyes shut and nod Mom’s nickname scorches my heart

"It helps me cope If I’m lost in my head, I can’t hear them I don’t feel them They can’t break me, but they can’t know they haven’t So I have toI have to do the things they ask Bend Follow orders"

"Sometimes we have to bend," she says, "to survive"

"Is that what you call thisto aze away frohtly It’s so Sah, but I’irl who never wanted to play princess

"Was that the first ti have I been te back into her Her nails curl against the floor like claws "Since the rotation started a few days ago He was just assigned to our cabin block Soirls in another cabinLook, it’ll be okay I’ll figure out a way for hiht, isn’t it? He’s fixated on her He’s fixated on other girls in the past And instead of dealing with the actual issue, the ca him to a block of boy cabins

Unless they already tried that, too, and it didn’tto be sick There’s s my chest

"It’s hi wrong If he tries it again, I’ll--"

"Do nothing," she says "You can’t No, listen to et out of here Proain, he’s ashes"

"You can’t do anything, Lucas You can’t That’s the point of this place"

And that’s just it, isn’t it? They’ve taken everything away froht we have to protect ourselves This is what it , even common decency We have to trust that they’ll behave like actual huet a chance Get out of here and find your parents and--" Saether I can’t hide my expression from her, and I kno it must look I don’t want to have to hide the pain any from her, anyway

"Ohoh, Lucas, no," she whispers Theyears stretch out between us, and I hate that I have to fill them, that I have to tell her this I hate all of the what-ifs What if we’d just stayed where ere and tried to fight through it? What if I’d come to Thurmond with Sam and Mia and I’d known, at least, where I could find the off the ache that pierces my chest "We--ent up to Pennsylvania, to live with Grammy and Pops You remember?"

"Of course"

"We couldn’t stay with the those announceerous and people knehere ere So we left and went a fens over" We lived out of our car in an abandoned parking garage, but I couldn’t tell her that, not when her face was already so shattered It wasn’t even that bad, you know? We put up sheets in theduring the day, when Dad went out to look for work, and Mom and Mia would try to outdo each other with their stories Soh to lay across the backseat,to Mom as she voiced each of her characters Dad would come back with food and a smile, lean across the way and kiss her I , because those were the days when I felt safe