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He took a step toward nize It never occurred to me how tall he was, but he see down until our faces were level with each other I could see what I would have done if our situation had been different If I had been in control of myself I could see what he wanted
What I wanted
My foot slipped against a rock as I stepped away,in anticipation, relishing how close he was Maybe his anger had evaporated, but whatever he was feeling noas stronger than before, stronger than pain or frustration or fury The words Get away froed between terror and want Lia outside of the blood rushing in my ears
I tried one last time to wrench myself away, but my knees, the traitors, buckled under me Spots in every shade of the rainbow popped and burst in front of rabbed me, only this time it was to hold me up, not pull me to him It didn’t one
EIGHTEEN
MY EYES WERE SHUT, but I could iine what must have happened How his pupils must have shrunk and then dilated, open and vulnerable Waiting for a cohts One , blond boy in overalls, clutching a wo on the front bu arine I saw the face of a kid rocket back as I punched him in the nose, heard a roar of approval fro legs as they hung over the edge of the top bunk, and then I was standing in front of Black Betty, watching Zu cliry
And then I was seeing me
I was seeinger seat I didn’t know I could look like that
No
No
No! I don’t want to see--
I slapped hih the tree branches Pain flared inquickly upelse, too--a snap, like a dried-out wishbone being pulled apart I reeled back, as if he had been the one to hit me I almost wished he had, because the pain would have distracted me from the dizzy disorientation that came next
I panicked I knew from countless experiences at Thurmond that the best way to break a connection was to do it slowly, carefully Unravel the invisible threads linking us together one by one Wasn’t this exactly what had happened with Sa touch and I had pulled back so hard and so fast frole trace of me
Wasn’t it?
Wasn’t it?
The pain lessened, the farther I dragged myself away from him
"Ruby?"
Why did I always have to do this? Why couldn’t I just hold it together for once?