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Vanessa, who slept on the bottoht of mine, had snuck up to Sam’s bed When I came into view, they stopped mid-conversation to stare down at ether was still sickening to hts had I spent perched up there with Sa us into some stupid, pointless conversation?

Sam’s best-friend slot had been vacant for less than two hours when Vanessa had slithered in--and not a day went by that Vanessa didn’t ree of her bed She didn’t look haughty or hostile, the way she usually did She looked…concerned? Curious? "What happened to you?"

I shook s I wanted to say

Vanessa let out a sharp laugh "Nice, real nice And you wonder why she doesn’t want to be your friend anymore?"

"I don’t…" Sam mumbled "Whatever"

Sometimes I wondered if there was a part of Sam that remembered not justhow I had ood part of Sam--or at least, all the parts I loved One touch, and she was gone

A few girls asked me what had happened between the two of us Most, I think, assu cruel when she claimed that we had never, ever been friends and never would be I tried to play it off with shrugs--but Sa that had made Thurmond bearable Without her, it was no life at all

No life at all

I fingered the packet of pills

Our cabin was brown on brown on brown The only color was the white of our sheets, and ly yellow There were no shelves of books, no posters, no pictures Just us

I crawled ontoface-first into the worn sheets I breathed in their fa distinctly earthy--and tried not to listen to the conversation above , I think--desperate to see if I could fix what I had done to one, and the only one to bla I could do for her was disappear; even if Dr Begbie was playing et rid of me, they wouldn’t connect us They wouldn’t question or punish Saht she had helped me hide, like they would if we had still been friends There were over three thousand of us at Thure--maybe in the entire world Or one of two, if the boy in the Infirmary was like me It had only been a erous, and I knehat they did to the dangerous ones

The ca us through the Mess Hall for dinner, to the Washrooht was diht

"All right, kittens" Ashley’s voice "Ten hts-out Whose turn is it?"

"Mine--should I just pick up from where we left off?" Rachel was on the other side of the room, but her squeaky voice carried well

I could practically hear Ashley’s eyes rolling "Yes, Rachel Isn’t that ays do?"

"Okay…so…so the princess? She was in her tower, and she was still really sad"

"Girl," Ashley cut in, "you’re going to have to spice this up, or I’ to the next person"