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"If what?"

"If you wish it wasn’t so"

His brows narrowed "Why would I ever wish that?"

She shook her head, unable to answer, and stared over her shoulder toward the sea

It seemed like he would close the distance between them, but he remained where he was "Aelin" His voice turned hoarse "Aelin"

She looked at him then, at the pain in his words

"Do you knohat I wish?" He exposed his palms, one tattooed, the other unmarked "I wish that you had told me When you realized it I wish you had told ainst the ache in her throat "I didn’t want to hurt you"

"Why would it ever hurt me to know the truth that was already in my heart? The truth I hoped for?"

"I didn’t understand it I didn’t understand hoas possible I thought ht be able to have two mates within a lifetime, but even then, I just …" She blew out a breath "I didn’t want you to be distressed"

His eyes softened "Do I regret that Lyria was dragged into this, that the cost of Maeve’s gaht have had? Yes I regret that, and I wish it had never happened" He would bear the tattoo to remember it for the rest of his days "But none of that was your fault I will always carry some of the burden of it, always know I chose to leave her for war and glory, and that I played right into Maeve’s hands"

"Maeve wanted to ensnare you to get to h"

"Then it is her choice, not yours"

Aelin ran a hand over the ood of the desk "In those illusions she spun for me, she showed me variations on one more than all the others" The words were strained, but she forced them out Forced herself to look at him "She spun me one dreahorns"

"What did she show you?" A breathless question

Aelin had to s before she could answer "She showed ht have been--if there had been no Erawan, if Elena had dealt with him properly and banished him If there had been no Lyria, none of that pain or despair you endured She showed me Terrasen as it would have been today, with , and my childhood happy, and …" Her lips wobbled "When I turned twenty, you caation of Fae to Terrasen, to make amends for the rift between my mother and Maeve And you and I took one look at each other in ht the stinging in her eyes "I wanted to believe that was the true world That this was the nightmare from which I’d awaken I wanted to believe that there was a place where you and I had never known this suffering and loss, where we’d take one look at each other and knoere ave her the keys, she’d make it all possible" She wiped at her cheek, at the tear that escaped down it "She spun me realities where you were dead, where you’d been killed by Erawan and only in handing over the keys to her would I be able to avenge you But those realitiesuseful to her when she told et me to talk, to think Yet in the ones where you and I s were as they should have been … that hen I came the closest"

His sas audible "What stopped you?"

She wiped at her face again "The male I fell in love as you It was you, who knew pain as I did, and alked with ht Maeve didn’t understand that That even if she could create that perfect world, it wouldn’t be you with "

He extended his hand An offer and invitation

Aelin laid hers atop his, and his callused fingers squeezed gently "I wanted it to be you," he breathed, closing his eyes "For months and months, even in Wendlyn, I wondered why you weren’tit, but I still did" He opened his eyes, and they burned like green fire "All this tiaze, but he hooked a thuer around her chin and lifted her face

"I know you are tired, Fireheart I know that the burden on your shoulders is more than anyone should endure" He took their joined hands and laid theether Erawan, the Lock, all of it We’ll face it together And e are done, when you Settle, ill have a thousand years together Longer"