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When I was a kid, I didn’t understand that Santa’s elves weren’t the kind froht his toy shop was staffed with fauns and boggarts, sprites and trolls, goblins and pixies Before Moive to Santa, they were always full of s I wanted a cloak that could er and as perfectly jointed as a living person After Mom left, I wanted crystal balls hich to scrye ical chalk that could draw ical potion I could make her drink that would make her care about us

Finally, someone explained to me that Santa’s elves weren’t those kind of elves and the list was just so Dad and Grandma didn’t have to think too hard about what to buy fornormal stuff on it, like skinny jeans and new sneakers

We lined up in front of a desk where a nice lady let us write down our names I could tell she wasn’t really is!" yelled one guy in a green fur suit, with horns crafted out of red Solo cups and painted black He wore colored contacts that turned his eyes yellow and saluted us with hot chocolate swishing back and forth in a oblet

Maybe some of these folks kne to scare people after all

Wren and Penelope and I all got nuistration lady called "race bibs" that ere supposed to safety pin to our clothes Once we ed that, aded into the fray

"There he is," Penny said, pointing over to the chocolate line

Roth was standing in a group of prep school Kraht red satin skirts with plastic horns froh heels Two boys with Krampus masks pushed up onto their heads so they could drink from the white Styrofoam cups

They looked clean and ed Like the blond girl Roth had his arm around My hair is blond, too, but that’s because I bleach it with stuff froht as spun white gold

"That’s his girlfriend?" Wren frowned "You could totally take her"

"I’irl froeous nierous looking, but her black-lipsticked mouth trembled like she was about to cry "She doesn’t even know about irlfriend"