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Now I have to go jostle Riley’s door and alert her to my presence I have no idea what I’m supposed to do if she doesn’t co up to Santa leaning over your bed would probably be trau I want is for her to screa I want is to have to explain any of this to her mother

At least her door is easy to identity--Connor ay one, but Riley’s cornered the ht a bell to jingle, or a reindeer toFroivesEven perky Belle’s s Santa is being a half-assed Santa Do your job, Jewboy

Quietly, I lean into Belle so thather cheek Then, louder with each syllable, I release a "ho … Ho … HO!" I hear a rustling on the other side of the door--Riley’s clearly been waiting for thiswith the authority of a er thanroom

When I’m out of the hall, a doorway squeaks open Pint-size footsteps patter behindit

I have to ask myself: What would Santa do? I head to where I stashed the presents, and start returning them to their place under the tree This seems a little menial for Santa--surely, there are elves to do this kind of thing? But I suppose since he travels solo, this is part of the gig I think about whistling a tune, but "Santa Claus Is Cole Bells" makes me think of …

"Excuse me," a small voice interrupts

I look down, and there’s Riley in a nightgown that makes me think of Wendy fro it Riley is a sleepy-eyed wisp of a girl at this hour But her voice is wide awake

Connor had told me she wouldn’t interrupt He’d sworn she’d see me and run back to bed, pleased to have her Christirl," I say I a Bad Wolf, so I cheer it up about halfway through, whichBad Wolf after three Red Bulls

"Are you real?"

"Of course I’ic seems to satisfy her … momentarily

"But who are you?" she asks

Who do you want me to be? I almost ask back But I know the answer And it isn’t rateful for the dirateful that I ree out ofto fuck this up for her anyway If I don’t ansell, I aracelessness of the hour she first disbelieved

And at the sa myself to say I am Santa Claus Because I know I ah liar to make her believe it

So I say, jolly as a jelly donut, "You knoho I aht"

Her eyes widen And in that ic to wonder, I see the family resemblance I see Connor and the way he is never too cool to show that solee as we’re watching Harold and Maude, or his bea coets when I walk into the roo for me There is no cynicism there It’s as if he hasn’t even heard of the concept of cynicism Which allows me to retreat froe where the delicate shell of childhood is starting to show its cracks I know all of the departood girl this year? What would you like Santa to bring you? But that’s not what I want to say

"Don’t stop believing," I tell her

She looks at ?"

I chortle out a "ho ho ho!" and then say, "Yes Exactly like the song"

I a over so I can look her in the eye as I say this Before I can rise up, she reaches out forBut instead she reaches past it to pat ood job," she says