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I’m not sure I like that word Softer

She sees my expression and shakes her head "Not, like, weak soft I ive thee the duuide them back when they needed it"

"And…you think that’sperson I know"

A strange thing is happening Sonizes her words as true I a

Just not withher face, and I know she’s thinking about Kurt About how she tested me for months About hoanted to be friends with them both, but how she forced me to choose anyway I can see her sha herself back into the present "So why don’t you think Josh loved you?"

"I felt like I was…a nice distraction He was so unhappy here, you know?"

"Phones are distracting The internet is distracting The way he looked at you? He wasn’t distracted He was consu extra nice toto say she’s sorry It feels cowardly But it also appears as if she believes what she’s saying It’s sireatest hope Is it possible, after all of this second-guessing, that Josh really did love me asininloved by someone whom I love?

My heart pounds at double its usual speed "Either way," I say It sounds defensive Like I’et his act together The last ti to do about school He’s a se on it And he can’t go to New England without a degree So, basically, he’s not going anywhere"

Sanjita looks confused "New England?"

I tell her about his school and everything else spills out, too "And I thought I was getting used to the idea of la Sorbonne, but I don’t know Back ere dating, it sounded exciting to go someplace new I did all this research, and Dartmouth seemed really cool, you know? Different And when I went up there a feeeks ago, it was even better than I’d iain--"

"I thought you said he wasn’t going anywhere"

"Well, I don’t know that for sure--"

"Who cares? Go to Dartmouth"

"Yeah, but what if he thinks I want to o to Dartmouth"

I frown, and she stares at me like I’m dense "I’ot into the school that you wanted to get into So go to it"

Holy shit She’s right Is it really that si She knows she’s won her argument

"You used to want to be a lawyer," I say "Do you still want that? Because you’re good at arguing your case"

She grins "What else do you need me to fix?"

"I don’t know My sister? Can you fix her?"

"Hattie, I assurind une frite into its paper sleeve "She showed up in my room the other day – unasked, of course – and is I told her to cut it out, but that only e stack of books off my desk"

"Maybe she’s just curious about you Maybe she didn’tby it"