Page 20 (1/2)

"Couy isn’t important It’s not like I dated hih, don’t rees h "His name was Sébastien He’s French He attends a school ten minutes away from ours And my aunt set us up"

"Oy" Josh winces "The same aunt who lives below?"

"The very one Tante Juliette is friends with his maman, and they invited us both to brunch last winter, not telling us that the other one would also be there It was huh…we clicked We dated quietly for a few months"

"Dated quietly?"

"We didn’t want to tell our nosy farin "So we didn’t"

"Did anyone know?"

"Of course Kurt knew And Sébastien’s friends"

"So…what happened?"

My gaze lowers "Turns out, he wasn’t a nice guy He didn’t really like Kurt"

"I’uys? Before that?"

"You mean did we have sex"

He’s taken aback by my bluntness He ducks his head, abashed

"Yes," I say

He tries to cover his surprise Again I suppose everyone at school assuin – that is, if they don’t already think I’ my best friend

"But ere never serious-serious," I explain "I row up half French, it’s not like sex is this big taboo And, yeah, you have to be careful and you need protection and blah blah blah, but it’s not that American Puritanical be-all, end-all You know? Sébastien was the only one, though I don’t want you to get the wrong--"

"No" He shakes his head rapidly "I know"

A long pause "How about you?"

"The same Just the one"

The wind picks up, and I rub ht I did" Josh stares out over the city "And then I knew I didn’t, and she knew she didn’t, but we stayed together, because…I don’t knohy Maybe because we thought we should be in love At least I did I wanted to be in love" He looks back at me "Have you ever been in love?"

"No" Yes With you

A uttural roar fades away Josh glances at "

"Oh, I’m fine I like the chill"

But he’s already on his knees, res it up and around ht of it stuns me in more ways than one My body weakens with lust The coat sht," he says

"Huh?" My eyes open "What night?"

"Last suht, and I saw you there I kneas a long shot, but…I had this feeling youI had that feeling "Why didn’t I see you?"

"I never went inside I saw you through the , and you…"

"I ith Kurt," I finish

"So I kept walking I felt like such an idiot If only I’d known, I wish I’d known You’d been so funny and flirty, and--"