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‘My o’

When I get to Ben’s house, Skye is in the front garden She runs over to erness to lick my face Ben said she is always so happy it’s like she has been dog- Slated

‘Settle down, dog!’ I admonish, pet her

I knock on the front door, and wait No answer

Is he not back froot here I walk across the garden to the garage Knock

No answer I listen; there Was that a slight noise inside?

I try the door: locked And knock again ‘Ben?’ I call out

This ti in the door It opens

‘Kyla?’ Ben grins ‘What are you doing here?’ He looks both ways, pulls my arm and draws me in Skye tries to follow and he pushes her out, then shuts the door and turns the key in the lock once again

He’s not in his school uniforht

‘Weren’t you on a class trip today?’

‘I was supposed to be I decided to take the day off’

‘You’re going to get in so much trouble for that’

‘It will hardly lad you are here So I can say goodbye’

And I see grinding equiplasses Towels His back-pack packed full of stuff like he has soh my body, turns it to ice I pullto do it now?’

‘Why wait? Muo to ’

I shakethe backs of my eyes ‘Please don’t do this Don’t leave ht One day soon I’ll cohs ‘I’ll find a way’ He links his little finger in mine, holds them up between us ‘You can’t break a pinky proether again’

He bends and kisses htly, starts to pull away but I slip my hand around the back of his neck and hold hiain, desperate to stay here, just in this one ht aroundso hard? Why can’t we just stay like this?

He loosens his arms ‘Go, Kyla Go now’

I shake my head I have to stop him, make him see ‘Wait Please At least talk to Aiden Maybe he can tell you how they did it, so it has a better chance of working?’

‘No, Kyla We’ve been through this’

Think I have to show him how stupid this is, that it can’t work ‘Tellto do’

Ben shows ineered er than any other

I shake er’

He tilts his head to one side Goes to another bench ‘There is this’ He holds up an old one-handed angle grinder ‘It’s got a diaed disc’

‘It still won’t work, Ben You can’t just hold your hand up in the air and grind your Levo off You’ll never hold it still enough, not when the pain hits’

He finds a C-clamp ‘Should do the trick,’ he says ‘I’ll cla You can’t stop me,’ I say, desperate to find the words that will ive up this crazy plan But I stare back at hi I say makes any difference He’s made up his mind

My head drops to my hands, almost dizzy with shock when it hits me: I have to help him I have to It has to be a quick cut He’ll start and not be able to finish, and die in horrible pain If I can’t stop him, I have to help hi cal NO NO NO NO…

‘I’ll do it,’ I say ‘I’ll cut off your Levo’

‘No No way, Kyla Go’

‘Listen I kno to use one of these,’ I say, and pick up the angle grinder It feels comfortable, natural in rinder than the special fixed grinder set up in my dream, but the principle is the same ‘It will be much safer if I do it instead of you You won’t be able to control it with the pain’

‘I can’t put you through that No, Kyla’

‘Look I can do it’ I clalasses Turn the grinder on and the sound, so like ht line through

‘Steady hands; I’ you or you’re not doing it I won’t let you do it alone I won’t let you die alone’

He stares back into my eyes, shakes his head softly

‘Let me help you,’ I say ‘You know it ht’

‘Then don’t do it at all!’ I start to say, ready for one last try, one final attempt to make him see, but he shakes his head and my words fall away

His face is reluctant ‘It makes sense,’ he admits ‘But are you sure you can do it? Are you sure you want to’

‘Yes’

He hesitates ‘All right,’ he says finally He holds up Aiden’s Happy Pills ‘But at least take one of these’

‘No way’