Page 30 (1/2)

She pulls me into the empty classroom next door

‘There have been soentle serous ‘And by what I just witnessed, I must echo them’

What she just witnessed? I frantically scan the last moical anomaly? No I’m sure she wasn’t She arrived at the end And she couldn’t have seen him wink; his back was to her

‘What do you mean?’

She frowns ‘That lovely new teacher asked you if the class was interesting, and you didn’t even answer him’

That lovely new teacher: huh There is et the i about it

‘And a number of your other teachers say you have been distant, inattentive, and not ready to learn’

‘I’m sorry I’ll try to do better’

‘Don’t just try; do it This is a warning, Kyla We’ve talked about this before Don’t forget you are being punished until you are twenty-one Your contract requires you to do your best to integrate and do well at school, with your family and community You are over sixteen now; if you fail, other treatment options are available’ She s to your next class, dear Have a nice day’

She disappears out the door, down the hall Ben: I need Ben Everything is tu inside: confusion about Hatten, who he is, what he said; shock and fear at Mrs Ali’s threats My levels are on the way down

When I step into the hall Hatten is just coy lab He pulls a face at Mrs Ali’s retreating back, crosses his eyes ‘What a bitch,’ he whispers, winks again and ser, more natural like that – as if his teacher face earlier was a mask – and I can’t help but ser to his lips ‘Ssssh, our little secret’ Then goes in the other direction

Well I could swear he heard every word Mrs Ali said How? And what is ‘our little secret’?

Ti ‘I saw Mrs Ali leading you off for a chat Is everything all right?’

‘Things could be better,’ I say Though I check one up to 51: did Hatten pulling silly faces stop its descent? Or,close My heart still beats faster

‘Can you come for a run before Group tomorrow?’ Ben says, face worried

‘Of course We’ll talk then’ The first bell for next class goes, and we rush in opposite directions

Tiet better at faking it, at least

CHAPTER FORTY

I pull aside the curtain next to the front door, and scan up the road: no sign Hurry up, Ben

‘Kyla?’ Dad calls out froo to the door ‘Come talk to me a moment while you wait’

I hesitate, look down at my feet: trainers on

‘Don’t worry about that, she’ll never know,’ he says

Mum may be out but I’m sure she has some sort of radar that keeps tabs on whether shoes are worn on the carpet I wipe them carefully on the mat and stand uncertainly in the doorway

‘Have a seat,’ he says, se of an armchair

‘Your boy isn’t very punctual, is he?’

‘No,’ I admit

‘So he is your boy, then’

‘What?’

‘Your boy You know: your boyfriend’

I colour ‘No’

‘…or maybe, you’d like him to be’

‘No! I don’t know We’re just friends’

He raises an eyebrow and it feels like he can see, he can understand s better than I can

‘Be careful, Kyla Just because we’ve allowed Amy to see Jazz doesn’tout of hospital And you know that until you are released at twenty-one you have to listen to yourthis’

‘Yes’

‘I’ with this Ben on your own’

I don’t say anything Any protest I could ht But I need to see Ben; need to talk to hi this week I just want to hold his hand Oh

‘But yourwith her on this For now But see that you keep things just friends, as you said You do understand why?’

‘Um, I’m not sure’

‘There is real concern that you can’t handle those sorts of feelings so soon after Slating That you could end up with your levels so s I heard in hospital But how? Ben helps my levels stay up, not down Unless…

‘You want me to stay under control,’ I say, surprise at the realisationthe words come out before I have the chance to censor them

Some amusement crosses his eyes

There is a knock at the door: Ben I spring to my feet, but Dad raises a hand ‘Stay here a oes to the door, answers it, and I wait: listen to Dad introducing hi and school Ben, as always, is open, polite Pleasant The sort of boy adults like