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So I do: about Phoebe’s robin, and what Gianelli said That we stood in silence, then he drew her as I had done

‘Stupid, dear ot so bad, they’d take him just for that,’ she says ‘Now listen toall this is to you How hard to understand But you s away, inside Or you won’t last I don’t want you taken away Promise me that you will try?’

So I promise What else can I do? Ito destroy this,’ she says, and holds up the sketch of Gianelli ‘Are there others like it?’ She turns her eyes to the pile of drawings But if she sees Robert’s face, ill she do? As ‘between us’ as she says this is, I’m unsure how she’d feel about Mac

‘Let me see,’ she demands, and reaches her hands towards them

But then there are footsteps on the stairs; heavy steps, co down froether underall right in here?’

Muhtmare, that is all Isn’t that so, Kyla?’

‘Yes, I’ for Mum?

Sebastian wanders in and jumps up on the bed, turns round and round on the blanket over the hidden sheets of paper They make faint crinkly noises Then he flops down I pet him and he starts to purr Where were you when I needed you, cat? Muets up and leaves Turns at the door

‘Try to get so else: destroy those drawings

I think about it for a while Then I hide them The carpet lifts up under theI tease it up, and slip them underneath

CHAPTER THIRTY THREE

‘That’s not fair’ Around, a hand on each hip

I do up ht It isn’t fair,’ Mu of dread fills

‘You won’t let Jazz and o out with Ben on her own?’

‘We’re not going out, we’re running, and going to Group,’ I point out ‘And he is just ood point,’ Mum says, but then turns away from Amy and winks at me, mischief in her eyes, then faces A with the? Are you serious?’ And she flounces up the stairs

‘You’ll be careful?’ Mum says, and zips up my jacket a little more

‘Of course’

‘There is a question on your face’

‘Is there?’

‘One day soon, Kyla, you should practise a poker face in front of aone question to avoid her looking too closely at another

‘Poker is a card game You try to keep your face neutral, so other players can’t tell if you have a good hand’

I pull the curtain aside to look out theCome on, Ben; be on time for once

‘And to answer your unspoken question, you are different to A alone with Ben I don’t trust her judgoes to answer it

Mum sees more than I think, sometimes; more than Amy understands It is true that A each other, ar, and Ben and I don’t do that But they don’t do it in front of her, so how can she tell?

Mrs Ali sees things different Since she bannedwith Ben at lunch, I’ve barely spoken to hiether doesn’t feel right Of course, Mrs Ali sawof Ben Mum did not, and won’t, since I’ve hidden it aith the others under the carpet

I peek through the curtains again, and this ti up the road: at last

‘Bye, Mum!’ I yell and slip out the door

As usual we run flat out to start Say nothing beyond hello Excessive exercising: is that what this is? I love the thump-thump of my feet on the taroing fast and then faster Ben’s longer legs run a slower rhythm to match my speed, so his thud-thud andsort of music that soothes after the last few days

It has been strange at school with Gianelli gone Not even whispers I’ve heard, not like when Phoebe went and everyone buzzed about it This time there is a silence on the subject Perhaps that is because everyone sahat happened to him, so there is no need to pass half truths and stories about Gianelli has not been replaced: art classes have been cancelled until further notice That lesson slot for me has been moved to Unit where the only acceptable activity is homework

I start to slon; usually Ben is the one to do this, to talk But today I have a few things onwith mine, and doesn’t ask any questions like he usually does In fact, he has barely said a word all week I’d thought of what to say and how to say it, but when I look up at hiry with ht all week Not since Sunday, really’

‘Don’t be daft Of course I’ry