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"I’ve seen shit, too," Boden said, his eyes grave and sincere "I’ve seen the worst the world has to offer And it can be a truly gruesoly place But there’s beauty in it, too There’sto experience any of it"

I bristled "I’"

"You are," Boden insisted with a wry laugh "I don’t know if it’s guilt or what, but you are absolutely refusing to be happy"

"It’s not a choice" I shookand being afraid of dying and trying to protect everyone andis safe"

"Well, exactly How can you be happy when you have the entire weight of the world on your shoulders? When it’s your job to save every person you cole thing?"

"I – I – I don’t even knohat point you’re trying toI can to protect Max and Stella and you How is that a bad thing?"

"It’s not bad, but you never relax"

"I never relax?" I scoffed "This is so ridiculous You’ve known me for a feeeks, and we’ve been on the run fro?"

"We’re not on the run froht now," he said "And we’re safe"

"We just killed three people!" I laughed incredulously "How is that safe?"

"Nobody is breaking down the door right now The kids are sleeping soundly You’re drinking tea," Boden pointed out "This is about as safe as it gets And you still have your guard up"

"My guard?" I set my tea on the table and stood up "You don’t know uard"

Boden leaned forward, resting his ar all worked up because I’ht, and you know it"

"I’m not worked up!" I snapped, then realized I’d raised my voice