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I never doubted hih I can’t see, I hear a door close behind us and I knoe’re inside I’m set on my feet and the coat is stripped away

Edward unties the scarf and slides it from my eyes

And my breath leavesis curved, domed--it and the full wall in front of lass

We’re on a hillside, covered by snow and dense forest But above us, the sky is jet blackexcept for a river of the reens and reds and deep purple--all dancing together What did Edward call it in his letter, so long ago? A living symphony of color

Aurora borealis

"We’re in Finland," Edward says from behind me "This is called the North House There are smaller, simpler cabins down the hill for rent, but you don’t have to worry--I’ve bought them all out too I’ll make a campfire for you, outside if you like It’s just us here, now Just you and I"

And it’s allsome, and I put my hand over reat, heaving tears

Edward takesme as I shudder with sobs

"Don’t cry, Lenny"

And I try to explain, to ht I would have this"

He tipsat rip his shirt and look up into those beautiful eyes "I never thought I would have you I never even let myself hope for you, dreaed ed ently and strokes my face "Yes, you could"

"But I wouldn’t be me, not who I am noould be some other, emptier version of me" Another tear falls and another, and my voice breaks "You are my joy and my heartyou are my homeand I would be lost without you"

He holds ht in his hands, and his words are low and forceful "You will never be lost I will be with you always The vorong When death comes, he can have my bodybut my soul will stay with you, I swear it"

And iven me and all that I feel for him

SLOW, SLOW, SLOW

It’s a mantra in my mind, a reminder A restraint

Because, God damn, hoant her Not even in my wildest, most selfish adolescent days did I want to take and take a wo

I kiss her soft lips, and touch her face, and move us backwards toward the bed And Lenny looks up at me, her eyes round and silver as thethe buttons one at a time She may be the innocent, inexperienced one, but when she pushesskin of my chestand follows those hands with her velvet kissesI’, but here, now--she --her hero, her husband, her mesmerized slave, her ravenous lover--it’s all the saether

Lenora’s ue traces the ridges of rab and tug and pinch and cup

But I let her have her way--let her explore and taste until her sweet heart is content