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"You should’ve told ainst her hair "You helped me find my humanness but you took it aith your lies"

My eyes flared Was the unfixable fixable?

Maybe I had to let her hurt ain--pain for pain Give her equal power It worked previously, but not…completely The research I’d done on Tess’s emotional shutdown stated she suffered sy curable overnight--if ever Sure, I’d forced her to return to life, but it didn’t o deeper than that I had to break every chain of the disorder, changing her i inher emotionally and physically scar ive up control again

Da Frederick and his ideas It was his fault

I had to co, lie-killing, life-fixingly perfect

My teeth ground as Tess stiffened, shaking her head against ht to an end

The bed suddenly felt too soft, too reminiscent of the mattress I lay upon while Tess coaxed ers and cat o’ nine tails

Untangling ed hands through my hair With heavy limbs and a heavier heart, I made my way to the other side of the bed

She looked so innocent and delicate; a blonde wraith sent to tehter--the sahter who’d turned my world upside down, et that fighter back

Tess curled inward, looking like an ethereal being about to fade froht The one bird who’d put e instead

My eyes fell to‘T’ overthe inked feathers and beady eyes of my favourite bird

The symbol never failed to make me feel better about e written onI was better thanfantasies I’d proven it by saving women I could so easily have broken

My hands fell to bare skin on ht side where no clouds or barbwire existed It wasn’t fair to leave that part unwritten That part belonged to Tess and my future

Tess’s body jolted as she slammed onto her back; her reedy breaths, she cried, "No Not again I won’t--"

Goddaht I couldn’t torturebeside her when I couldn’t save her

I would fking save her, and in turn, I’d restore my self-worth

Any second now she’d wake and hurl herself back to life Any second noould catch her and hold her while she sobbed from whatever filth she’d relived

She would turn to me for help And I would be there for her

You al assle

The memory compounded my headache How could I want to hurt so the truth Tess had so much power overqueen

The darkness gave way to light for a brief mo slave

My eyes snapped wide I snorted in the darkness I’ed on the pillows, throwing herself onto her side Her tiny hands fisted while her body turned in on itself

Standing over her, I forced myself to pick up the splintered pieces of auntlet of right and wrong No ift of absolute ownership, I wantedbesotted She would never just be a slave And I would never just be her master Our connection went past flesh and blood It was soul-deep and ever-lasting and I refused to fk it up with one ly truth was aired It was ti the past ruin our future

Tess and I were stronger than words And I refused to let the in my life

I would stop this--end all this decay before there was nothing left but rottenness and nothing to salvage

I would start a new beginning A clean slate

I had to do so drastic

My eyes widened You already knohat to do Fuck, why hadn’t I thought of it sooner?

My headache kept pace with lared at Tess I’d wasted so much time

Lefebvre and the shower

It worked last tihat Tess one ht, the glare stungmy trousers off the floor, I jerked them on, followed by a black shirt I’d unpacked before

My reflection showed aeyeballs, but for once there was a gli on soworry ininto rabbed my cell-phone and punched in a number I’d known by heart since I was five years old

It took a while to connect The ringing sent spaser atwork, so don’t screw it up" The e of a lunatic Doubt reared its unwanted head My eyes looked almost soulless; my five o’ clock shadow unkelistened like tiny crescentphone

The nu

"Bonjour?" a sleepy female voice ca to do so, followed by a yawn "You need so, and you’re not even here?" Her tone ?"

Before Tess caet close We’d never been more than saver and slave, then erown to friendship She pushed erous to do so She saw the real ardless

When Tess arrived it was Suzette who gave me permission to be a bastard What were her words? Be like them for a while, because even on your worst days, you don’t rival what they did to h; I didn’t need to She told me in her oay--in the panic attacks and sudden terror of

"I need you to arrange a wedding"

Suzette giggled "I thought you eloped so you didn’t have to do any of that?"

I i her eyes as if I was sootten his lunch for the day She’d taken the role of caring for inal plan Oui"