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I still couldn’t understand how he’d forgivenover the past ry Gentle I pretended each day it was easier I smoment

I’d become a better actress than I ever dreamed of, but it made no difference when he could strip me of my lies with one look Some moments I even believed my panto better

But then I remembered

I wasn’t better I’d just learned how to bury it so the horror became a part of me The flashbacks, the recollections--they were a constant coht so hard to keep my reactions free from my face

I couldn’t tell hi he sacrificed I lied when I told hih I spun tales every tiht of e to barricade et better I’hts I’ll understand if you want rily "Get that ridiculous thought out of your head You’re notside Tu m’entends?" Do you hear ave me a sanctuary I never knew I needed It took away the pressure of thinking for myself when my mind was too jumbled with re his voice "Do you want a bath?" His voice may be whisper-soft, but his body didn’t relax The vice of his arertips, but I didn’t care He needed to hold htly He needed to convince hiot, I would never leave hi back, I shooktarnished in my life I used to love baths Hot water never failed to wash away my worries and turn me into a puddle of contentedness That was before Leather Jacket aled me while I’d dozed in Q’s tub in Paris

I couldn’t sto ain Not that I’d ever tell Q that He didn’t need to know the stupid things I feared I would cease to be the strong woman he needed And I refused to have him see me as one of his rehabilitated slaves who needed help, rather than an equal who deserved hi was the day our relationship was over

Sucking in a breath, I pushed hi away my fear and torment, I turned my worries onto the man ould kill for me The man who had killed forto h"

Q frowned The silver of the iven way to pink and purple bruises of dawn The fading scars looked darker across his face in the gloom He wore my mark in more ways than one

I did that I scarred his beautiful face I hurt him so much he almost died; all because I couldn’t differentiate between real life and nightone a massive transformation when he allowed hted just how much he surrendered

Howto show hiratitude, but I couldn’t deny I was different

Q clenched his jaw; his five o’clock shadoas thick The stress of the past few o back to ere

"I told you not to lie to me You can’t fool a seasoned bastard like me Do you think I can’t s co e bed cocooned us in a sea of black sheets, and if I looked up to the ceiling, the silver chains frolinted in the nen

The fireplace of hunted deer and the e blend of trepidation and hoether, forever linked where Q was concerned

My eyes fell on the chest holding Q’s myriad of toys Toys he’d locked away Will I ever crave pain the saasm overwhelmed me The carpet burn on my knees, the ache in my jaw as I sucked his cock, the salty taste of him as he exploded down my throat I missed the passion Ipain

"I’ I truly am better I don’t need a bath"

"Then what do you need?" He reached forit over his left pectoral The heat of his skin set fire toat the sparrows and barbwire on his chest

"I need you," I whispered, wishing for the burn, the overwheler However, it was scarily absent Either my libido hadn’t woken up or that too was broken

You knohat’s broken You just don’t want to acknowledge it

I slapped the voice away, raisingpart-sculpture, part-monster "Yet another lie Qu’est-ce que je vais faire de toi?" What a forward, his pale eyes searched s I never wanted hi to

I said, "There is such a thing as too e Give s froave you time before and look what happened You built a fortress and blocked ive ain" Q’s hand flew up, his fingers latching aroundtwo emotions: I kneouldn’t hurthi inaway too many secrets I was a victiaze darkened as my heart thrummed under his thumb "For God’s sake, Tess You can’t even let me touch you How ever did you letmy dirty lies I let Q hit me yesterday as he needed to reifted ht for the rest of my life to keep hi that before was aspain was for Q We’d been the perfect e was dimmed, clouded