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My eyes glanced down to the scar I knew ran through his leg "You don’t regret losing the one thing you love? God! You were shot! Wounded! Nearly killed, and you just stay in? Do you have so? Let ht, and I sucked in a strangled breath "They die"

TheI love, E like hell"

"Don’t I’ to stand by and watch you die like e, nothing is worth that wait, that pain"

"Your dad believed in his mission He saved a lot of lives I knew hi He was proud of me!"

Jealousy stabbed deep Josh had been friends with s I never could, about why he chose the path he did Josh knew my dad intimately in a way I never would, because I had been too scared, too angry with Dad’s choices to understand

"Look what he got for it A doctor in a hospital, not a soldier on the front, and he’s dead! Don’t try to rationalize war"

Silence enveloped us, and I noticed the croking as they passed by at the saently guidingthe ht I love you, and that’s soirl I love you more than hockey, or the air I breathe You love iant slap to the face "My love? You want to useotten close to you if I knew! I hate what you do I hate that you lied to me But mostly, I hate that you let me fall in love with you when you knew! I hate that I love you, so you don’t get to use that" The tears drained er into a pit of h for the both of us I can’t regret anything that brought us together"

His eyes, his words, they all started to "

He took a tentative step, reaching out to run the backs of his fingers down iven you the choice and told you, but I couldn’t You are this , let alone calling you ood enough, not for someone like you"

"Because I had a doctor daddy?" I threw his words back in his face, trying to hang on to the last vestiges of er would keep me alive when Josh had the power to break ly unimpressed with me Oh, you’d watch; believe it, I noticed, but you had way more self-esteem than to throw yourself at anyone I had too much respect for you to pursue you I would have wrecked you back then"

"You’re wrecking me now" The confession was soft I’d known fro hiht me another notch closer to insanity I had to be crazy to even entertain the idea of staying with hi to let you walk away over a uniforainst his body My traitorous nervesall too well how it felt to be in his arms "Just let me love you, December, because I can’t stop anyways I’ve been at your ht bled out of ainst hiht It didn’trun really He only had a few raduation I did my math "You enlisted for the typical three years, and those are up soon right?"

His jaw flexed "Technically"

My eyes narrowed "There’s no technically Don’t you dare hide anything else fro for his answers in the trees, the buildings around us "I’ll be done with h of relief "Three htened on raduation day because I’ll be discharged from service A few minutes later, I’ll be sworn in and commissioned as an officer I’ve been in ROTC since I ounded It paid uard paidthat kept ly, clawed its way up and seized hold ofcareer" Twenty years The best years of his life given in service, risk

His eyes said that he wanted to lie, but he didn’t "Yes That’sinelse, I reached up on tiptoes, wound my arms around his neck, andall of my love, my sorrow, my desperation into hiuewith mine His hands leftdelicate, as he kissedin et closer to hi that I could be so swept up in someone else