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With one last full-body shudder, she nodded and seeainst hiainst his chest

"Honey, there’s nothing to be eh What scared you? Did it have so to do with the ly about how theand then he’d followed her out into the parking area, keeping her froh to take a taxi home and hadn’t noticed that she’d dropped her purse until she had needed to pay the driver When she’d found the sahtened "Ah, Avie, I’uy’s contact infor to hi to Jeff, he was pretty shaken up over the whole thing"

"II probably overreacted I justI felt trapped"

Mac heard the slight slur to her words and knew that the vodka had hit her syste to herself

"I’ve never been able to let anyone touch h with it"

Mac was co out of her o from her life for years Hell, he’d read docuuys Of course, they didn’t go into details, but when a man came ho, it was easy to fill in the blanks Why was she bothering to lie about it now? It was a little late in the day to try to protect his feelings "Avieit’s fine I know you have a sex life I understand that you don’t want any attachments with the men you--see"

Her bottom lip wobbled pitifully as she turned to stare at him "There haven’t been any men, Mac I’ve been tooto upset hih it, but he damn well hated to be lied to This whole conversation was cruel and pointless, and he was hanging on to his te her aside, ready to distance himself before he snapped at her "Whatever, let’s just drop this, okay? Are you feeling better now?"

She clung to his large fra toto finally tell you how screwed up I really am and you don’t believe ed up fro this?" he shouted "I know you’ve been involved with other ht stands with random men Does it make me happy? Fuck no! Does it piss me off that you’ll sleep with anyone you pick up in a bar? Hell yes! Have you hurtyes to that! Can we please get off this sudden Miss Innocent act? Because I’ bullshit on it all"

Red stained her cheeks as she gaped up at hilass He didn’t ever lose his shit around her Both of them needed a time-out to process what had happened He was seconds fro an ass to her after she’d had such an upsetting evening when she spoke, sounding suddenly very sober "II didn’t mean to tell you like this But now that I’ve made such a mess of it, I need to come clean with you Would you--please sit back down for ato go ho look on her face was his undoing, though He’d never been able to say no to her, and noas no different Instead of taking the seat he’d recently vacated next to her, he chose the chair across the coffee table He knew froht drop of her shoulders that he had so"

She shifted nervously in her seat, before sighing deeply "Please letI need to before you cory with reement, she locked her eyes on his "What I said was the truth, Mac; I haven’t had sex since my attack" She held her hand up to silence him when he would have spoken up "You promised you’d listen Anyway, I know that you think I sleep with ular basis You believe what I’ve wanted you to believe I’ve felt safe and secure since you started having your guys check in on me daily I can’t tell you how much that helpedoverto say" Looking guilty, she continued "I wantedto create the illusion that I’ a panic attack I didn’t want you to know that I’m always alone I can’t let men close to me because then they’ll see who I am no matter how ht-headed, Mac realized that he had been holding his breath He was reeling froainst his head and his heart The only response he was capable ofterrified was "And who are you, Ava?"

She didn’t waver as she answered without hesitation, "I’et scared if aI’ve left my cart in the aisle countless times when my mind convinces me that there’s a threat I don’t date because the few times I tried, I had a panic attack and didn’t answer the door when they came to pick me up I don’t have sex because the one time I tried, I hyperventilated until I passed out AndI don’t let et close to you because--I love you so much, and I don’t want you to see how pathetic I really a as if she had taken a sharp knife and gutted hi hih the fires of hell for years while she hid who she really ay from him He still couldn’t quite believe that she had perpetrated such an elaborate cover to conceal as going on in her life Pinching the bridge of his nose, he closed his eyes in pain as he asked, "Who were the men who caht How do you explain that?"