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In sum, I’d made him feel totally alone

Shit

Jared didn’t function as others did I knew that being raised by a narcissistic mother who emotionally and physically abused him had made him shut down in many ways I knew that he didn’t share his pain with others because, in Evan’s words, eotten Jared in deep shit I also knew that, as a result, unless you literally dragged it out of him, Jared would bury it all deep But I hadn’t expected hiotten past that I rong He’d buried the extent of his pain as deep as he possibly could Oh I’d felt echoes of his pain and fear and anger through the bond at times, but I hadn’t realised the extent of it until now All that optimism he’d shown had been his sether to help hiical iress, but I’d clearly gone back a step because by not being there for hih all this, I’d e Well I clearly hadn’t been that this time

Maybe some would say that he needed to buck up and deal with his shit like an adult But he’d beco care of hi anyone He’d let hione and let hi fro understanding He hadn’t sulked, he’d just withdrawn That, for iven the silent treater, I went out onto the balcony To anyone else, hein the haainst the shore But I knew better I could feel his turmoil, and it caused a hollow ache inHe didn’t look atto irritatea hurtful prat This was actually one of his sneaky little avoidance tactics; he was hoping that if he annoyed

"I don’t want to fight again," I assured hiaze flicked to ed htly unbalancing the hammock Sad hazel eyes stared into mine as he brushed stray strands of hair away fro about Jared He didn’t brood endlessly or expect a dra down He’d easily accept a peace offering and happily move past the dispute

"I just…I don’t want to watch thee my mind"

"I’" His answering kiss was so gentle that it wasof his lips over mine "Please tell me you have sohed, returning his gaze to the ocean "So am I, baby"

And he hated hiuilt "Stop it, Jared You did your research on The Call, you consulted several people, you surfed the V-Net, you spoke with Quentin Foy – you’ve literally done all you can to try to find a way to help the e West couiltier Crap "Nobody blae understands why you don’t want her here"

His eyes darted back toin their depths "Even you?"

"Evenme on this?"

"What you need is for me to be here for you, and I haven’t First I disappeared intoBut like you said, I’et so set on one path that I almost develop tunnel vision"

The pad of his thuuilty of that" He exhaled heavily, looking like soht of the world on his shoulders "It’s possible that she couldn’t have helped anyway Covington said that he couldn’t be sure I could have brought her here and put you in danger for nothing" Again his thuently He smiled, but it was strained "Even if it had worked, Evan would have kicked our asses for taking the risk"

"Exactly – you have nothing to feel guilty for because he would sooner repri careful"

Scrunching his hands in ed so that my forehead rested on his "I miss him," he whispered "We can’t help hiood," I admitted

"A part of me wonders if I should just end his life now It isn’t a life He’s suffering, he’s in pain, and he’s lost most of who he is But I just can’t I still have a s that will help hi But I have to ht not be able to do anything, don’t I?"

"We have tothat without that peace, the guilt would shole "Stop shouldering all this You told h shit alone anymore Well, saled into hihtly around me "We should have had this conversation sooner I would never have told you that it’s your own fault that you’re hurting I wouldn’t use your eainst you like that; I’aze "I alant to kno you feel, even if it’s about a subject that we’re at odds on Got it?"

"Got it" Cupping ently "You’re the only reason I haven’t totally lost it You’re ht back at you, Michaels"

He chuckled softly "Stay here with me for a while"

So I did It wasn’t until dawn that he teleported us both to bed where he proceeded to make me come over and over When he finally slid insideto releaseintiavethe ely, I fell asleep with a huge smile on my face